Coffee Rhetoric: Apartment
Showing posts with label Apartment. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Apartment. Show all posts

April 20, 2009

Update- Tales from the Darkside and Home Improvement

Conversations that transpired while walking around my neighborhood this past Friday:

Encounter 1: Lady buffalo stancing outside Family Dollar and Carlos's Supermarket: " 'Scuse me MISS. You got a dolla'??" Me: "Nope." Lady: "How about fifty cent? You got ANY change?????" Me: I shook my head emphatically and hurried inside towards my destination for Folgers and flip flops.

Encounter 2: While walking from Green Apple produce market

Man: (standing next to disheveled Black woman: "Scuse me Miss... you think you can give me and my friend here some money...." Me: Shook head emphatically and hurried inside.

**I come back outside from store**

Woman (beggar's friend), in a slow, drug induced drawl: "Scuse me... MISS. Can I have some..." Me: Shaking head so hard my neck pops, as I hurry down the street towards home... Woman (yelling after me): "Well, you got a CONDOM den??"
Encounter 3: The best friend (Cat to those not in the know) visits. After settling in, we head back out at around 10pm... Cat, being the genius that she is... parks TWO WHOLE BLOCKS away! We stand and wait outside, in the mild night air, waiting to cross the street...
Condom Lady approaches... head lolled to the side as she lumbers over, like a corpse out of Night of the Living Dead: "Scuuuuse Me. Ladies... Ya'll got aaaany money I can..." Cat and I in unison: "NO!" We run out into busy traffic, desperate to get away from Condom lady. Bitch is lumbering towards us at a clip now!
We make it. I verbally abuse Cat for parking so far away!! And Onward Life has been somewhat busy. I'm still... still... settling into my apartment. It is starting to feel a lot like home, however. With several free acquisitions, a few priced next to nothing accents, switching things around and figuring out (through trial and error) what works in this particular space, things are starting to come together. I now have a king sized bed and board (sans frame, but not dire) today. I'm excited. The bed is huge. Bedding will be costly, but I plan on NOT paying more than 30 dollars for king sized bedding.

Check out what's going on thus far

Oh and I also acquired this amdist the madness.

March 08, 2009


On the mend and feeling SO stoked about it! This weekend I've done absolutely nothing but indulge in piping hot baths, chai tea, black coffee, lemon water, oranges, Netflix, twittering, and facial masks. I feel and look a LOT better, and am going to spend the tail end of my week long vacay of sick, relaxing and doing, well, ... nothing. Well, I might break down and do a load of laundry. In any event, The weather outside has been amazing and the snow has all but melted. Here's to hoping I won't catch another horrible, nasty, demon of a sinus cold.

February 22, 2009

These and Those: Still Rolling Along

I'm still rolling along and settling into my apartment, slowly but oh so surely. I purchased a few chindi area rugs for my bathroom, front hallway, and kitchen, for five dollars a pop at Family Dollar. That place is becoming addictive. I also hung up some curtains in my spare room and have set up beddy-by shop there until I get a bed in my chosen bedroom. The curtains aren't perfectly hung, but they pass. Anyway, who gives a damn. I think they look fine, when you consider that I'm not used to having to hang shit and drill screws in the wall and what have you. I've gotten better though. Good enough suits me just fine.
Still working on the couch issue. Hopefully I'll have that resolved in another two weeks. I'm in full HGTV mode and nothing can stop me. It's amazing, the ways in which you can upgrade our apartment without breaking your pocketbook. I've even managed to squeeze in a couple of dates in-between the condo decorating. Nothing serious. Nothing to read too much into. It's just cool to be able to have a quick lunch or what have you, and get to know someone interesting. My preoccupation with the committee of me, myself, and I is barreling forth, at warp speed and I've no intention of taking a detour. You have to be a pretty extraordinary man to get me to back up and take another look. Nothing wrong with accepting a lunch or drink to help fill up one's free time.
Speaking of Family Dollar, I was at my local one up the street from me this afternoon. The manager or owner (I presume), an African man, recounted the morning's events. He apparently got pimp-slapped by an irate customer who grew angry, because his coupons weren't valid at Family Dollar. The right-side of his face was swollen as proof and he claimed that he had a headache. "I'm gonna slap you!" the manager said the customer threatened... and, well, he did. The manager said he held the man until the fuzz came to arrest him. Sad day in our culture when customers go around administering beat downs because they can't use invalid store coupons. Obama would NOT approve and this is NOT the month of us to be going around slapping the piss out of one another. People, we've got to do better. Chris Brown hasn't done anything but exacerbate the way in which we relate to one another when we are angry.
In the same breath, The slapped asked me if I was single or had any children, and suggested that we should become "special friends" and go out from time to time. I considered bitch slapping him across the other cheek, but forced a tight smile and said, "Mm-hm, bye, thanks alot. Sorry you got slapped." And pushed my way out the door. "Each time you come back, we'll get to know each other more and more and build a friendship!!" he yelled after me.
A few days prior to that, after taking out the trash and while digging around in my purse for my keys so I could let myself back in, imagine my surprise when I looked up and saw an old Black woman pressed up against her window blatantly and unapologetically glaring down at me, um disapprovingly? She looked pretty unreceptive when I spied her. I waved and she continued to leer. I shrugged and went back inside. FYI- YES granny, I DO live in the building, but thank you for your concern.*insert side eye* I'm guessing she's the resident neighborhood-watch skeezer, or perhaps geezer is more fitting. I'm starting to familiarize myself with my 'hood more and more. Colorful with a dash of seedy. Very Brooklynesque. I LIKE it. Not to mention the wine shop is a straight shot up the street along with a Jamaican bakery, a few bodegas and local markets. The weather has been relatively cooperative, so I've been out and about more. Spring seems like it's on the cusp of being sprung.

February 14, 2009

Hi Mom, I lied.

A few days ago, I acquired some lovely, gently worn and practically like new pieces (free of charge) from an equally as lovely older woman by the name of Johnnie-Mae, who is having her floors re-done and was looking to get rid of pieces of furniture. I graciously made my way to Johnnie-Mae's cute house (up not far from my mother's) with the help of a selfless friend, her just as selfless friend, his truck, his sons, and my older sister.
Johnnie-Mae, a hospitable host and owner of great stuff offered me ginger-ale and pizza topped with sun-dried tomatoes. She also sent me home with two beautiful wood dressers with drawers, and barely used futon with trundle, unused and still in their packages bedding- complete with pillows, and a vintage still in great condition lamp. I excitedly called my mother and told her about my booty. Pleased, she commented, "Are you going to plaster this all over the internet too?" I feigned "What do you mean?" and answered "No, in any event..." and continued on. Sue me, I lied. I'm excited about my acquisitions and feel compelled to share. I had other, tentative plans for my spare room. I put the futon, shorter dresser with drawers, and vintage lamp in there. I also plan on dressing the windows with the matching curtains. I'm getting a French, provincial vibe from this unplanned decor, and am liking it. I think I'll continue to work with it. The blues are comforting. My room? Splashes of reds... I'm thinking French boudoir meets Morocco inspired. Next to black, red is my favorite color. It's passionate, yet soothing and I always try to find ways to implement it. Next week, I (hopefully) will've added a king sized bed and sofa to my apartment's furnishings, as well as a Studio 54 shower curtain I saw, on clearance at Urban Outfitters. When it comes to home makeovers and topics of the like, I glaze over and get into a zone. I'm completely enmeshed in that space and time until I'm completely satisfied. Ideas start swirling around in my head and I'm constantly re-arranging as needed. My last apartment was once described as feeling like, "An opium den." Mission accomplished. I'm hoping to elicit other interesting feedback from visitors, once I am completely settled.
Godspeed to moi.
On a totally unrelated note, I covet this handmade, felted "Grey Bird" scarf I found on Etsy, designed by vaivanat

January 31, 2009

In Progress

While I'm as settled as one can be with minimal resources, I'm enjoying my new apartment. The building is quiet, I rarely see my neighbors (good thing), I have a whole area of basement hallway to myself and the walls are extremely thick- (I can blast my music to my heart's desire).
One advantage to being on the same floor as the laundry and mail facilities is that I can pretty much sneak out of my apartment looking as beat and bunk as I'd like (I did run into a neighbor checking also checking her mail yesterday evening, however. Fortunately I was on my way BACK to my dwelling, smiled quickly and hurried along). There is still a lot to acquire (whether I have to eventually purchase decorative items or someone finds it in their heart to donate them to me... this economy does suck you know). I'm sure I'll start to accumulate said items eventually. Furnishings are sparse, but I still feel as if I've made a cozy home nonetheless (albeit it a cold one!), I still engage in the things I enjoy doing at home best, particularly lazing about and watching foreign films. My bedroom still needs work... anyone have a beautiful and gently worn bedroom set they want to GIVE me?... but I enjoy it. The queen-sized inflatable bed is starting to wear thin on me, but it suffices for now. The other bedroom has no furnishings and I'm still trying to decide how I'd like to use it.

November 26, 2008

Busy B

Ugh. I've been busy. STILL trying to settle into my new crib! It's in disarray and we simply CAN'T have that. Hanging up pics have been a nightmare. The walls are made out of concrete apparently and I've bent several dozen picture hangers attempting to do so. Now it's time for plan B.
I cannot WAIT to get the internet up and running in ma maison. La maison de Coffey. AND I lost my phone this Saturday and cannot WAIT to get it replaced TOOT SUITE (did I spell that correctly??). The details of how I lost it shall remain murky, for now. In any event, I had it deactivated, especially since someone found it in a snap and decided to start immediately texting to someone in Mauritania! I'm back to my poor bachelorette ways (not that I had any affluent or well off ones to begin with) and do look forward to gorging myself on free Thanksgiving food.
I shall return, and will update as often as possible in the interim. Bises. P.S. Read this

November 02, 2008

These and Those

Schtuff continues to keep me extremely busy (I am at the tail end of having coordinated a list of successful activities to help raise money for the United Way Campaign), and I'm still breaking in my new abode. I'm also excited and a bit anxious about voting Tuesday. I've been having these huge-mini panic attacks, fearing that when I arrive at my designated polling station, something stupid is going to hinder me from being able to cast my vote! This is a historical election year, and I intend to exercise my right to vote!
On an interesting and unexpected note, last night I did something I hadn't done in years! I read (a poem) at a gathering. Folks, fellow artistes stood up and took the floor so to speak, and I got inspired (perhaps by the red wine and strawberry dacquiri I drank)- and decided to project my voice. It had been a while since I shared in that capacity, but it felt cathartic. Nerve wracking at first, but good nonetheless. I'm not really a performer, and usually share my chose art form through print. Spirited games of Taboo and Scategories (trash talking included) soon followed. Here're some of the other things I've been up to...
P.S. to my BFF Cat: Congrats to running a half marathon for Breast Cancer Awareness in San Francisco recently. I was only joking when I said you probably 'ran like a slave.' Election day is upon us, figured I'd clean this up to help ring in a new and hopefully monumental moment on a POSITIVE note.

October 13, 2008


I moved most of my things in this past Saturday. My body is sore (I'm not equipped for that type of manual labor, apparently)- made worse due to PMS related aches and pains. Some amazing people helped me at the eleventh hour, including a reliable close family friend. Also, thank goddess for wayward husbands, because this cool lady I've come to know- (who's also a lawyer and offered me some helpful tips and suggestions I may want to follow prior to settling in- including an offer to get my pad blessed by a friend of hers)- forced her significant other to pitch in as a way to pay for his dick dealing ways. Is it so difficult to stop engaging in vagina monologues, and stay faithful to your wives? I don't know if I buy the whole Monogamy is a myth, because we are driven my nature argument. Whether it holds some merit or not, I think we are all capable of exercising self-control and making rational decisions, especially if their wives are doing everything RIGHT, sans the nagging and bellyaching. ESPECIALLY since we are well past the pre-historic age. We are articulate, we walk upright, and we are cognitive. It becomes less about what's in our nature, and more about the CHOICES we decide to make, no?? Seems remaining faithful to one's wife (or husband) is an elusive code of conduct. If you're going to be a cheater, cut the "it's in my nature to cheat" doo-doo. But I digress.
Anyway, other than a few small odds and ends (shoes and clothes) I'm sorting through, I'm just about ready to settle in. Phase one is pretty much over. I've been making mental notes to help prepare me for Phase 2: Buying a lot of new shit- including a couch and a bedroom set. Oh bother. My head is throbbing just thinking about it. I'm sure I'll run into some relatively decent deals. I hope. In the meantime, I think it's safe for me to exhale. The worst is over.

October 06, 2008

Digital Display

I stayed home from work today. I haven't had one of those days in a while, seemingly. I figured it'd be a great day to wash my hair, do laundry, and gather together my belongings... to decompress. Fortunately, I'm mostly packed and boxed. Many of my things are in storage. I'm hoping things work out, because the act of packing and moving and then apartment hunting all over again, are a pain... as I've discovered in this current economic climate. Things are a lot more tenuous, people are more leery and stressed. I'm fortunate that I stumbled on a situation, that was specific to my needs and what I was looking for! A new couch, a new bed with frame and other incidentals loom in my immediate future. More things to ponder. Perhaps once I'm settled, I can revisit the wacky world of *gasp* dating! It has been a while, and I must say, the peace and quiet of not fretting over some douche has been quite nice. Of course I plan on treading carefully. With all the steaming piles of shit all over the place, I'd hate to step in anything, due to stomping around precariously.
Anyway, I'm not exactly sure why I posted this video, but it seemed like the right thing to do. I've always thought Rosie Perez was extremely talented, and pro-active in her activism. This video just drives that point on home.

October 05, 2008

In Motion

I picked up the keys to my new place Friday (as awkward as it was- long story but will explain later)- and will be moving soon... Now if I could just get the truck bit sorted out...

September 03, 2008


... My dramatic ass was approved by the Condo Association. I got it. I got the condo. What a long ride. What a welcome belated born day gift.

August 26, 2008

School's in Session

How do I know? Because, despite the fact that I took an earlier bus to work, I still managed to be ten minutes late. Seems my bus got caught behind a stagnant school bus's flashing STOP sign, every other block! And once the children are settled and seated on the school bus, you know the driver has to fucking sit there for an additional five minutes, just to spite morning rush hour commuters, and to go "nah nah nah nah nah nah" over the fact that traffic HAS to stop when a school bus driver's STOP sign comes out.
I also noted the young hellions waiting at their respective stops. Faces greeeazed up and glistening. Scrubbed of this summer's funk and muck. School uniforms pressed new school bags slung over their shoulders as they waited to be picked up... reluctant yet hopeful looks on their faces. One kid looked downright distraught. As if he weren't quite ready yet. Needless to say, I do NOT miss those days. While some students' start date is this week, others begin the stresses of academia next week. I have been and will be avoiding the mall at all costs! Nothing worse than the school shopping rush! Wall-to-wall bodies taking up every inch of the mall. Parents sucking their teeth at indecisive and petulant tweens. Teenagers cutting their eyes at their mothers for not letting them purchase those $200 Citizens of Humanity jeans. I'd rather wait my turn.
As far as the Condo I Covet goes, progress has stalled. Par for the course unfortunately. See, the universe and the forces that be, seem to have it in for me. Contentment, PEACE never comes sans attached strings! I don't have it that easy. Some people are simply lucky bitches, others have to fight, beg, and plead for a little luck. For a tiny break. For some good karma. So in the meantime, I'm back to pounding the pavement (so I'll have a back up plan)- until I hear the good (or fucked up) word. My sanity is contingent on my settling into a place of my own again, and having some semblance of stability.

August 23, 2008


While I wait- (still)- to learn the fate of whether I'll be renting the cute condo I covet, a few random thoughts have crossed my mind. Firstly, as of a few days ago of my follow-up, the Cooooondo Assosheashon <-- (this is me being antagonistic and petty, because I'm anxious and hopeful)- is apparently "still processing" my application. Hmm, I wonder if they've even actually started that process, because considering it has taken the bulk of this month, I'm starting to wonder if I have a looong criminal rap sheet that I'm not aware of. Perhaps some miscreant has taken over my identity, and went on some sort of whirlwind crime spree. If this is the case, I wonder if this imaginary criminal has been caught, and if they have... I wonder if they're smiling with their eyes, in the mug shot???
The birthday is done and over. It was nice and it was plentiful. I'm officially 31, even though those of middle age scoff and still say, "you're just a baby." I beg to differ, but whatever. I've no desire to regress back to being a girl, and do fancy myself a still relatively youngish woman. Every year is a learning experience and imparts wisdom or something revelatory to my sanity and growth as a better person. Within the matter of a week, I've learned that it doesn't matter how old a person is, they enjoy wallowing in negativity and will shun anything that may contribute to their own growth. That some people need, look for, and find reasons to act malicious or petty. Ah, the beauty of being agitated for the briefest of brief moments in time right before deciding not to give a flying fuck.
Anydumbass, I've been mulling the possibility of taking on a second job. Something unconventional that will earn me a little extra pocket change. ... Something that'd keep me even more preoccupied while I inch my way ever so closely toward stability. I have to figure out what it could possibly be.
P.S. I swiped the "thinking woman" image from this website. I don't know who the artist is.

August 10, 2008

I'm Still Waiting...

... I haven't exhaled in about a week. Waiting can be exciting. But it's also one of the most nerve-wracking feelings and can exacerbate feelings of anxiety and indigestion. I'm not gonna exhale until I hear. ...