This Much I Know Is True: 30+

Born Days are no huge deal for me. I'm not one to make a whole big production over that matter... I'm just thankful to the goddesses that I reached another year. In the cult of personality we currently live in, there are some who aren't so fortunate. Which is why I cannot stand listening to people sullenly bemoan the fact that they're getting older. In any event, next month I will be 32 years old. After I hit the age 30, several things occurred to me, these are some of them ...
  • I'm no skinny bird, however I can honestly say I'm comfortable (for real) in my skin, and am okay with maintaining the body I have now.
  • It's not that serious.
  • I'm not altering my appearance, personality, attitude, body to placate anyone.
  • I like to eat, and am not ashamed about it.
  • I like wine and an occasional cocktail and am NOT an alcoholic so eff you.
  • Thanks, but no thanks.
  • Excessive tree-hugging and hippiedom get on my nerves.
  • I like anti-perspirant and will continue to shave.
  • I don't want to hear about your sexploits or your bowel movements.
  • I can be attracted to, date, or like whoever the hell I want.
  • I don't have to like you, especially since you're such an a*hole.
  • No, I don't want to hold your baby.
  • I don't want your pet jumping all over me.
  • Twitter is fun, who cares if you don't understand it, get over it.
  • No means 'NO.'
  • Flaws are extraordinary.
  • I don't have to explain how I go about me and mine to you, her, him, or them.
  • I'm still single, and your point?
  • Desperation is reckless and unbecoming.
  • So WHAT I don't have a car.
  • I didn't ask you for your advice you self-righteous so and so.
  • I don't give a damn how much money you have, you're still a jerk.
  • I don't have to smile, YOU smile.
  • I like saying "menstrual cramps" out loud. No need to whisper it, esp. since you just told me about your sexploits and your bowel movement.
  • I'm not a slender, flexible instrument that's inserted into the urethra, therefore I'm not "bougie."
  • I suppose I do have BOURGEOIS tendencies when it comes to specific things, however.
  • It's okay that I'm NOT sexually repressed.
  • I like simplicity.
  • I can't stand unnecessary noise and drama.
  • Don't like being around sullen, ill-humored folks.
  • I don't have to make small talk with strangers early in the morning, if I don't feel like it. I wanna listen to my music.
  • No, I'm not straightening my hair, but I appreciate (or not) your suggestion.
  • My uterus and or reproductive organs are none of your damn business.


Anonymous said...

Visiting from GC's blog...
We must have been separated at birth because I SWEAR I feel the EXACT way.

Shell said...

Hey Tiff.

This post made me cry.

Not because of the realizations you have made about yourself, but because of the realizations I have NOT made about myself.

I am older than you but not as grounded.

You have given me a lot to ponder and I am not sure, HONESTLY, if I can thank you for that. Give me time. I am VERY sure I will eventually.

I wish I could hug you.


Anonymous said...

These are funny! -KLJ