Brrr...

I'd type something profound and witty, but my finger tips are still thawing out. I also need confirmation that my nipples still exist and I've yet to feel any sensation. So I'm still waiting. Gives new meaning to it being "colder than a witch's tit." My brain was also on freeze because apparently, I walked right by my mother in the supermarket this evening and failed to notice her presence or her gesticulating in vain, to get my attention. This brisk, bitingly cold winter has also prompted my fat ass to swell even rounder and bigger. To massive proportions (as if that were possible). I purchased a pair of jeans today and almost broke a couple of ribs trying to fasten them. Hearty soups, breads, and desserts have a hold over me, apparently. I wont beat myself up over it though. I refuse to go there. Nope. I wont do it. Fughettaboutit! But I may do a black coffee detox (don't ask, I came up with this method all on me own. It's a very complex system and I'm unwilling to relay the details). My current wardrobe still feels familiar. It's the new clothes that are inhospitable, unforgiving, and complete strangers to me. Perhaps it's because the denim is "Rigid"? Excuses, excuses. I'd rather just suck it up, and buy the next size up than berate myself. They're great looking jeans. The weight fluctuates. I wish it and bloat weren't part of my reality, but they are. Nothing left to do other than pop another caramel, make some tea, and psyche myself up for venturing out in the even colder 17 degree weather tomorrow! Oh yes, and the dry cleaners effed up my warmest, Kenneth Cole goose down coat, so I have to add that to my list of random, insignificant, yet significant things to purchase anew. January, February, Maarch, April... pardon me... I'm counting down til Spring... Maay...

3 comments

Eb the Celeb said...

girl I fell ya... I am so waiting for spring and my trip to hawaii next month... I hate the winter and the last 2 days in new york have had a bone chilling new found knock you over kind of cold that I dont think I have ever felt before in my 3 years living here.

TiffJ said...

eb the celeb: That 7 degree weather was RIDONKULOUS Thursday! I couldn't even THINK straight. I always feel this overwhelming since of irritability and melancholy when it's this cold. I can't walk upright, because I'm always hunched over trying to protect myself even further from the chill! I KNOW it's probably wicked in NYC. New England is the WORST during the winter. I blame Canada, dammit! ;-)

Brunhilda said...

Gah. I wish I could adopt your attitude towards the weight gain. I berate myself. :( Cold, what's that. It is a quite unnatural 60 degrees here today. Crazy. Torando weather in January.