Exorcism of Ms. Jones: Part 3- On Anger

Purging the Funk (reposted)

"I imagine that one of the reasons that people cling to their hates so stubbornly is because they sense, once hate is gone, that they will be forced to deal with the pain." - James Baldwin

I feel...

bored with being bored

bored with winter

duped

scorned

bored with being solitary

lonely in my solitude

adept at the game

played by the game....

I feel.... like a little slice of heaven-

that's floating through space and time

the sudden need to indulge the lust that's anxious to wander.

I feel anxious

tortured

tormented

happy

angry

vengeful

forgetful.

I feel like I can't eat

I feel like I can't sleep

I feel like I have indigestion, for I can't choke down the chunks of anger and aggravation burning in my chest and stomach like hot coals.

I feel a little lighter.

I feel like my waistline is shrinking somewhat

I feel like I made a mistake

I feel like kicking myself for letting ye olde guard down

I feel like forgiving myself, and moving on

I feel fed up with the triteness of everyday people

I feel randy

I'm feeling fed up with the dating game.

I feel tired

I feel depressed by the banalities of everyday life.

I feel an overwhelming sense of disappointment in Man-unkind.

I feel, I feel, I feel...

I'm feeling my most creative...

I feel like going out in the hall and yelling like this... aaaaaaaaaaaaaaHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

I feel stir-crazy!

I'm feeling like I have a bad case of cabin fever

I feel like I want to pack up and get the fuck away from here.

I feel London

I feel France

I feel like removing my underpants...

and laying in the warm sun on the Mediterranean, somewhere.

*sigh*

4 comments

pricolatino said...

I feel like I wasted a whole spring and summer without a single hurricane and I didn't go to the beach once since March. Now it's too windy and cool and cloudy to lie in the sun.

I feel like I need a new best friend close by... New York City, Seattle, Puerto Rico, Italy, they don't cut it anymore.

I love my roommate, but it's not the same. I guess when you live with someone, even if they were your best friend before, they move to another level closer to family, and you still need the best friend out of the house.

I'm living vicariously through your purge, believe it or not. I hope it's not only positive for you, but maybe you'll come out with some answers that'll help me. ;-)

TiffJ said...

Prico: These are all issues that I also grapple with. My best friend is only a few hours away, but it is indeed, not the same.
I am so tormented, and am trying to come to terms with the things that make me sad.
I like how you said that you didn't go to the beach while the weather was beautiful, I commiserate with you, as to why you didn't. Sometimes, it's just not as exciting, if you aren't enjoying it with a particular brand of company or friendship.
I am glad that you're also finding some semblance of clarity through my posts!

BeautyinBaltimore said...

I was wondering what happened to Kat. You have not written anything about her in some time.
p.s. I like that you are posting more often now.

TiffJ said...

@Beauty: Cat still exists, travels a lot, will be coming up for a visit in about a week or so, and posts comments under a ridiculous other name. (see if you can spy the identity) lol.
I'll be sure to take pictures of her during her visit, and exploit her some more in future posts. :-)