Coffee Rhetoric: sick
Showing posts with label sick. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sick. Show all posts

January 11, 2011


Urged on by friends who seemed overly excited by Nicki Minaj's fervid verse, I listened to Kanye West's all-star collaboration on the track, "Monster." Notoriously particular about the music and artists I listen and pay attention to,  I found myself nodding along in spite of my reluctance.  I'm not a hardcore Kanye West fan (I'll never forgive him for bestowing fame and fortune on the mute femme-bot known as Amber Rose)- or detractor (I think he's talented, enjoy some of his work, and even defended him during Taylor Swift-gate, when he Mic-snatched the annoying and saccharine country singer and did the infamous shrug seen 'round the world, elevating his douchery to epic proportions)- but in keeping with his current Avant-garde projects, controversial album art for his latest (and awesome) offering, My Dark Twisted Fantasy, and modernistic fashion choices, I found the dark, macabre lyrical quips right on track in keeping with this re-branded,  douchier more artistic than usual version of Kanye. I also found myself more impressed by Nicki Minaj's contribution to the song as well. She proved to be more than a one-trick pony with a dubiously luscious ass. She held her own, and then some, on an all-male track, and seemed to deviate from her whole "Harajuku Barbie" schtick, showing the breadth of her lyrical skills. Plus Jay-Z helped bring up the rear with his talk of vanquishing bitter vampires, ungrateful interlopers and such. In fact, Monster is heavy with horror movie tropes. I was in. I couldn't wait see the video... 
Um, so then I saw the video... *insert blank stare here* ... While I'm not sure what the inspiration was, I was a bit taken aback by the visuals. The video begins with a dead-eyed, limp model hanging by her neck, from a chain... Then the subsequent wide shot shows several other dead models hanging from chains in little else but their underwear, flanking rapper Rick Ross as he casually sits amongst their dead carcasses, puffing on a cigar... Next up? Kanye West... lying in bed... next to two dead models with broken necks, their eyes open but vacantly staring off... The video just goes downhill for me from that point on... 

Listen, I'm no prude. I'm known for seeking out obscure, off the cuff Art House/Experimental films that would cause the vast majority of the population to doubt my mental stability. I'm a fan of Richard Kern and Catherine Breillat. I've watched and grimaced my way through several films from the Torture Porn genre, so this is not a holier-than-thou rant arguing about the perverse nature of pop-art and rap videos. I'm all for seeing a little cutting edge perversion in art, and any rumblings disclaiming that admission would be b.s. because I suspect we all harbor curiosities when it comes to exploring perverse behaviors that're within some semblance of reason. However, there's imagery and ideas that are even twisted enough to make me squirm... which is a difficult feat...
During many aspects of the video, there seemed to be no discernible message connecting the dead, decapitated women with the crux of the song other than for shock value... and therein lies my issue. While I still enjoy listening to Monster, watching Kanye West lying in bed with two dead, broken necked models, as he re-positions them to touch one another reeks of necrophilia and it just makes it difficult for me to remember that I enjoy the song. There is a LOT going on in this video and none of it is particularly enjoyable to watch... including Jay-Z rapping his verse as yet another dead model lays splayed on a leather couch behind him. The visions of decapitated model heads and entrails offered no further hope or high expectations for the duration of the music video. I was over it by the time the Nicki Minaj, Dominatrix vs Nicki Minaj, Barbie (tied up in a chair) scene came up. 
Duncan Quinn ad
This video expounds on this disturbing trend of women featured in compromising situations... namely dead and dismembered ... or as zombies. It sort of reminded me of this movie I wrote about a while ago, that shook my core and prompted me to make haste and return it to Netflix. And in likening Monster's video to Dead Girl, perhaps the most chilling aspect or the one thing that bothers me about it rather, is the apathetic way in which Kanye, Jay-Z, & Rick Ross drift amongst the carnage of limp and dismembered female parts. While I understand the nature of the song itself and perhaps the video is a metaphor for... for... something... It always unnerves me when the female aesthetic goes beyond the usual titillating pictorial of T & A (which can also become problematic when done horribly wrong) - and manifests into something way more sinister and malevolent. And so enter the birth of films like this, this, and videos like this to counteract that victimization, much to the chagrin of many men, who are quick to deem it man-hating propaganda ... I'm just speculating.  Seeing women as tortured, mutilated corpses within the context of a music video is unusual and dare I say trumps the disturbing nature of Eminem's Stan video, where its antagonist places his pregnant girlfriend in the trunk of his car. Are women, hanging by their broken necks from a ceiling not hateful, misogynistic visuals? I suppose dousing some video vixen with a bottle of high-end champagne or swiping a credit card down the crack of her gyrating ass isn't humiliating enough.  Please weigh in.

November 17, 2010

Wednesday Ear Candy: Sick Day Edition

At the beginning of the week, I could feel my body begin to buckle. I was walking around feeling like a pre-menstrual and during some instances, bloated hulk... and then those blasted sinuses of mine began to torture me. Try as I might, I could not win the good fight and they finally took me down yesterday, at one of the most inopportune times too. Nothing worse than trying to sell yourself (legally) during a meeting, with drippage working its way down your nostrils. So here I lay ... okay I'm half sitting... actually I'm leaning on my side... home for the day... just me, my neti pot and as many cups of hot, black coffee I can slurp down...  catching up on online news, and what latest offerings my favorite musical artists have brought down the pipeline this year ... I think I need my own private (male) nurse... that, a stiff shot of brandy, or septoplasty.

August 21, 2009

The Sads

How exciting! I got myself a summer cold. I'd gone THIS long without getting sick and now...
It all started with the notorious sinuses. I fought it hard with all that I had at my disposal... neti pot, tea, water, and massive amounts of Vicks (which I use for virtually EVERYTHING). I even walked from downtown to my hood in the sweltering hot last night (fifteen minute trek excluding stops at crosswalks and at the local market up the street from where I live)- hoping to sweat the poison out. Oh I sweated, my pores cleansed ... but this morning I woke up feeling like some sinister, demonic thing had taken up residence in my chest and throat. That demon also made me break out into an itchy rash/hives I'm struggling HARD not to scratch... oh alright, it's the summer heat causing the rash. Oh the fight isn't over. Having a cold is just as uncomfortable in 90+ degree weather, as it is in 30 degree winter weather.
Oh this fight isn't over yet. I shall slay this demon STAT. All I wanted to was to regain my chi.

March 08, 2009


On the mend and feeling SO stoked about it! This weekend I've done absolutely nothing but indulge in piping hot baths, chai tea, black coffee, lemon water, oranges, Netflix, twittering, and facial masks. I feel and look a LOT better, and am going to spend the tail end of my week long vacay of sick, relaxing and doing, well, ... nothing. Well, I might break down and do a load of laundry. In any event, The weather outside has been amazing and the snow has all but melted. Here's to hoping I won't catch another horrible, nasty, demon of a sinus cold.

March 05, 2009

Bus Tale and Other Matters

So, I've literally been in bed since Monday evening. I'm sure waiting out in an unexpected, blizzard-like snowstorm for 20 mintues for a bus (before learning there was a 2 hour delay, and I didn't need to be to work until later)- helped aggravate matters, because as the day progressed, my throat got scratchier, my head throbbed more, my annoyance level was at a 20, and my sinuses pulsed and tingled. I hardly ever get sick, so when I do, I may as well be on the cusp of death because it's a feeling unlike any other. All-llll sinus and throat... mostly sinus. I can't think, I can't eat, I feel discombobulated... I just want to crawl into a hole a la like I'm Alice, and stay there until it's all over. It's a sick of epic proportions that makes me moan for my mom! Tired of lying underneath the covers reeking of Vicks Vaporub, I dragged my wrecked carcass out of bed to check email, light some incense sticks, and relay this lovely little Bus Tale that took place on the aforementioned Monday. Perhaps this exacerbated the illness that'd been percolating and weakened my body's defenses even further? I don't know ...
Monday, I headed back out into the horrible weather... properly bundled up, face covered with large shades, and perplexed by the onslaught of snow that hit the East after such cooperative weather! Thankful that I didn't have to wait long for the bus the second time around, it stopped in front of me and I boarded. A troglodyte sitting across from me with, ohhhh... saaay about 4 teeth (I didn't make eye contact with him for too long) looked me up and down lasciviously... "How's it going sistah" he said appreciatively. I mumbled something akin to a greeting, an attempt not to be rude, but a sure sign that I wasn't impressed and didn't want to engage him. He continued to stare, I made sure to keep my shaded eyes averted. "You are veery beautiful. Just the kinda sistah I like." he said in his bestest sexytimes voice. I shot him a disdainful look (hidden by my dark shades), jerked my shoulders in an indifferent shrug and turned away.

"I'm sure you're just as beautiful on the inside as you are on the outside though..." he continued.

I didn't respond... well, okay, my mouth tightened into a sneer. The bus ride was quickly turning into the longest 5 or 10 minutes I'd ever had to endure. When my stop finally approached, I quickly pulled the lever and stood up before it came to a complete stop... anxious to get the eff off. Much to my chagrin, my yuck-mouthed admirer got off at the same stop... He continued on with his disgusting and unwelcome courtship...
"You alright sistah..." he continued. "Yup!" I yelled over my shoulder as I jumped over a high snow bank (in record time... unheard of!). "Oh, I figured you needed help over the snow bank or somethin'" he said as he looked on lecherously. "Nope!" I said quickly as I made a beeline across the street... away from him.
"Alright then!" he yelled after me. "I'm gonna dream about you tonight!!!" he threatened. I ran faster.
So now here I am... home in bed... sick and blowing demonic and unmentionable things from the depths of my sinuses ... Yup. It's definitely the troglodyte's fault!

April 12, 2008


This past week I've been home from work, coughing up my last lung... grimacing at what's been coming up out of my throat, blowing my nose, taking any drugs and cough sizzurp (yes I said sizzurp) I can get my hands on, whining and cursing my illness for I haven't been this sick, in a long time. ... I feel a lot better and felt inspired enough to compose a witty blog post. But, I just realized that today is April 12, and I haven't done my damn taxes yet. ... Shit. Maybe I should get on that like, now before The Man shakes me down hardcore.

March 15, 2008

The Gods Must Be Crazy

Why must the universe remind me, once a month, for one long excruciating and uncomfortable week, that I'm a woman. More importantly, why must I suffer for that very reason???
I planned on waking up early, this fine Saturday morn, to attend a St. Patty's Day brunch (complete with mimosas) at my workplace, but the powers that be had other plans for me... and it involves throbbing delicates, bloat, sore lower back, and a cramping lower tummy. This is what my weekend will end up being like (see below)... hope yours is just as pleasant. Men you just don't wanna know. You've no idea at'all. That's it...

January 13, 2008


So, I completed the first full week at my new job. The people are personable, encouraging, and extremely helpful, and I look forward to working with them and actually moving forward and growing, after an extended period of time. Morale seems to be positive, no one comes in with pinched looks on their faces, and it's good to be someplace where there's potential to move up and learn, and the people aren't possessive, petty, rude, or conniving and actually foster a healthy work environment. Moreover and most importantly, I have my own workspace and have furnished it with two plants and a candy jar filled with sweet treats. It has been busy and there's plenty for me to do. I definitely hit the ground running. They showed no mercy and I quickly learned how to get into the swing of things. Fast paced is always good. On a stank note, I celebrated the completion of that week with a nasty case of food poisoning. Oh yes. I spent the bulk of my weekend vomming out the days' contents from my stomach, feeling hot & feverish, and sweating. I haven't eaten since Friday. I've only had water. My older sister made me some broth with brown rice. So in essence, there is no estrangement. It involves too much hard work and energy and I'm just too lazy to exert that much time and effort into something petty, and risk scattering my forces. I tried, but only lasted a few days. So eff it. Best to fight (like we frequently do) and move the eff on. I've two sisters and don't relish being out on the ledge all by my lonesome. No matter how much and how often we get on one another's nerves. I'm going to go lie down for a spell longer because while the worst of my ailment has subsided, there is still some gurgling and dull cramps in the pit of my stomach. Pardon me for saying this at the risk of speaking ill of a massive chain, but I think I shan't EVER eat another donut or drink any coffee from Dunkin Donuts ever again.

December 23, 2007


I blog alot about trying to slay some of my personal demons... but I honestly feel like up against a real, literal one that has decided to use my nose, ears, and head as its own personal condo!
I'm still in the throes of this massive sinus/head cold I have! I'm no stranger to sinus issues. In fact, I may just have a deviated septum (deviated septum = Hollywood actresses' new excuse to get rhinoplasty. P.S. What the hell is a deviated septum??). Anyway, self-diagnoses aside, methinks this is the worst sinus cold I've had in a long time! My head, nose, and ears are on effing fire! It's very uncomfortable, I haven't slept in about two days, I've thrown every thing I've had at it! We're talking heavy artillery! I was making progress yesterday. Everything started to clear out. I was in good spirits (figuratively and beverage wise), I could breathe freely, and I was relieved. This early morning (we're talking 3AM) I woke up, feeling like someone had poured acid in my nostrils as I slept. Now I can't breathe or taste (VERY unfortunate), my eyes are running, my gums are sore, I can't stop sneezing, and I'm very discombobulated. I'm typing slowly in an effort to cut down on grammatical erros and to formulate intelligible sentences here. We're talking THAT discombobulated. In fact, I'm so out of touch with reality that I actually sat there and watched Danielle Steele's Star on the tele. The WHOLE movie! While inside, I asked myself "why?" over and over again.
Ugh. Yes, I'm a whinger when I'm ill only because I don't get colds very often! But seriously, this is some serious bidness. It's like the demon was being pushed out of my system and on the way to the exit (blown out on a Kleenex basically) it caught hold of some rung or ledge, and is holding on for dear life... sharp nails and all. I just drank some hot miso soup for breakfast and downed some mango nectar (which has vitamin C). My goal is to have this monster slain by or before Tuesday!

Wish me luck. Im gonna go lay down and do some more whining.

UPDATE: The horrible force that has me feeling like a steaming pile of dog dookey, is called Sinusitis. Oh joy! "Nose irrigation" with a saline solution is recommended. Mine isn't particularly acute, so I gots it covered. Just sprayed some saline up the ol' nostrils. And I must say, it offered a bit of a reprieve from the intense inflammation.

December 20, 2007


Whine, whine, whine, whinge, whine. So I'm afflicted with a horrible sinus/head cold. I woke up with sore joints, my head felt too large and heavy for my voluptuous body, my sinuses were on fire, etc etc etc. I felt like I was in a horrible, dark haze of pain and suffering and couldn't claw my way from the depths of it. Finally I forced myself up and at 'em, whincing from the effort. I haven't been sick with a cold in a looong time. I love the babies, but I suspect being around them as often as I have been, has made me a host to their cold germs, unfortunately. I've been coughed, hacked, and sneezed upon. Unfortch toddlers and 8 month olds know fuckall about covering their mouths and lathering up with hand sanitizer. Having made it past the first hurdle: getting up and shuffling to the loo, I couldn't be bothered with coffee, so I made some vanilla-ginger-chai tea with a generous helping of honey and French brandy. Mango nectar, lots of water, and Airborne coupled with hot miso soup just wasn't cutting it... so after I wrapped up an excruciating job interview (excruciating, because my ass was sick and sniffling through the whole process, and I know my breath reeked of mentholated cough drops), I ambled on over to CVS Pharmacy to stock up on some major drugs. Intense sinus relief nasal gel by Zicam and some REAL sinus medication... the kind the drugstores hoard behind the counter, and you can only purchase with a valid picture ID, because it contains Pseudoephedrine HCI... and since it's used to make meth and is considered a narcotic. "At least your puff ball (piled and pinned on top of my head) is perfectly round" opines my younger sister. In addition to my horrible cold, I'm also a victim of pre-menstrual bloat, my bra feels ten sizes too small and is digging into my flesh, the dirty pillows are sore and swollen and I'm extremely gassy. Ah. The joys of being made a special lady once a month. So toss in some Maximum Strength Pamprin into that crazy pill stew and expect me to be extremely hopped up and lucid this fine evening and subsequent day. Oh yes, despite my possibly contaminating the staff's board room in which I was interviewed in, I was propositioned by the CEO, who made me a lucrative job offer. I sniffed and accepted. ;-)