Coffee Rhetoric: Coffee Fanatics
Showing posts with label Coffee Fanatics. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Coffee Fanatics. Show all posts

July 26, 2012

These and Those: Coffee Jerks

Anyone who knows me knows that I am serious about my coffee consumption. I'm pretty straightforward and have zero use for tepid, weak "struggle coffee" or designer blends. When I go to a coffee house or chain, I don't my order doesn't involve a lengthy list of incidentals. In fact, standing behind someone who orders a: small but tall mochaccinoshino with skim milk, lightly steamed, with a splish-splash of syrup, whipped cream, with a cherry on top and not too hot-- or whatever it is they're ordering-- has to be one of the most daunting experiences to have to endure, when all I want is an over-sized dark roast, Caffè macchiato, or Coffee of The Day.   

When I frolicked in Sicily, one of my most memorable experiences was ordering coffee there. The Italians are no frills, and have little patience for foolery, stunts, and shows when it comes to food and especially when it comes to their coffee. You go to Italy getting the coffee game twisted, and they’ll shade you out of the café, they take coffee-culture that seriously.  You order it how they do, in the variations they offer, and when they do. There is no such thing as a “frappucino”… you order un caffè (corretto if you’re nasty) enjoy it, and then go on about your business.  

People who wave a Dunkin Donuts, coffee flavored Coolatta at me, thinking they’re showing off their coffee-drinking prowess, can step… I’m not impressed. All of this is to say; I don’t play when it comes to coffee drinking. Going a full day without having its hot, robust deliciousness in my system, throws me off and causes me to feel all discombobulated and become somewhat nasty.  I go back and forth with folks on Facebook about my love of coffee-culture and I get ribbed a little bit for it; but the men in the following video display how they are not to be toyed with when it comes to their coffee, and flex their alpha-male privilege to show their disdain for "struggle-coffee". 
In this short compilation of chauvinistic, but still amusing, 1950’s and 60’s era coffee commercial clips taken from the Prelinger archives and edited down to the jerk-minimum, husbands condescend to and disparage their clueless wives for their poor coffee-making skills…  

May 06, 2012

Coffee Rhetoric... Literally

Last week, I was (surprisingly) asked to weigh-in on the Colin McEnroe show about the Keurig (aka K-Cup) machine. Colin McEnroe sought to deconstruct the growing popularity of the machine and any social and/or financial impact it may (or may not?) have the cult of personality... specifically, those of us who are coffee fanatics and/or purists. Surprisingly enough, the topic of the show generated a lot of callers and there were several other guests who were champing at the bit, to chime in about the coffee pods and how they soil the wonderfulness of coffee... not to mention the impact the tiny plastic pod-cups have on the environment.

I didn't get to say too much or even everything I intended to, but received an email from a friend who'd listened in and opined that us coffee lot were "scary". One commenter on the show's website went further and wrote...
I have often suspected that certain members of the Colin McEnroe show are members of the Socialist party which is alive and well in this country. Today my suspicions were proven true through the coded content of your K-Cup show. Much like Spencer Bachus who at any moment can out certain Democrats in congress for their ties to communism, I could go public with my suspicions and demand that birth certificate be produced. I mean come on, what kind of liberal Pinko world we live in where we all have to share from the same pot like we are living in a sunshine [sic] day dream yippie hippie Grateful Dead world. America is about freedom and choices and forcing me to drink the same kind of coffee as my neighbor brings me back to the Cold War 80's. I remember hearing the horror stories from Russia-toilet paper lines out the door for one kind of government issued, scratchy inferior roll. I saw the movie 'Red Dawn' enough to know where this Socialist rhetoric will take us.
I refuse to be taken in by your entertaining and seemingly innocent show about K-Cups. What's next- a war on Quilted Northern and call for deposits on soda cans, incentive at grocery stores for bringing in canvas bags? No sir I'm not drinking your Socialist red Kool-Aid because I believe in a system of freedom, liberty and the rights to make choices (as long as my choices are limited to coffee and toilet paper-reproductive and marital rights are best left to government mandates). 
Umm, okay (weirdo have several seats blank stare). In any event, I wanted to convey that these days, I alternate between using a Keurig machine and my French Press… and I have an affinity for the latter. I’m not keen on artificially flavored coffee nor do I begrudge anyone’s right to drink it (I may chide you a bit though). My coffee preferences usually fall within the realm of: dark roasts (Italian and French), Sumatra blend, medium roast, Cuban, Puerto Rican, Ethiopian and coffee ground blends of the like. I take my coffee with just a splash of cream, thank you very much. Needless to say I straddle the fence. I enjoy the ritual coffee brewing and pressing allows. I do realize that Keurig machines afford people who don’t have a lot of time to waste using an espresso machine or waiting for their coffee to brew, an opportunity to literally fly out the door as they grab their travel mug on the way. I also get that corporations probably favor the Keurig machine and are investing in them, because they’ve probably surmised that it’d cut down on outside coffee breaks and chatter around the coffee pot, as employees wait for a fresh pot to brew. Either way, I’m not the only one who’s passionate about her coffee.  I’m not a member of the Socialist party as the one commenter (with an apparent axe to grind against Colin McEnroe) suggested. I just prefer a perfect (or damn near perfect), robust, no-frills cup of coffee minus the sweet, syrupy bells and whistles; while welcoming the pomp and circumstance that goes into making a cup.

If you’d like to hear me fumble my way through this great, First-World debate… check out the podcast of the show: “Keurig Coffee: Revolutionary Invention or Environmental Scourge?