These and Those: Au revoir à l'Eté

Summer... I laughed, I cried, I scowled, I scratched my head... this summer wasn't too bad but it wasn't without a few bumps and snags either. I've learned a great deal about navigating the landscape known as freelance writing. Important lessons such as; how to be discerning with people who employ the services of freelancers and adapting to ever changing personalities in this current economic/job climate. Oh, I've learned some great lessons, even if I had to experience more inconveniences. There's a whole chapter of my adult life titled UNFORESEEN INCONVENIENCES, in fact. That's where I archive them all. Instead of bullet points, I sub-categorize them under expletives. 
Anyway, stumbling is always frustrating once you start gaining momentum. I always liken it to the damsel in distress in those formulaic slasher films, who trips over a tree stump while running wildly away from the murderous psychopath, while he creeps calmly and patiently towards his prey.  As I always do, I endure as best as I can- (like the last heroine standing... battered and bruised by her stalker) - and just catapult myself forward towards, flailing towards stability. 
Like the leaves change color during the fall, I've determined, I too need to change colors with the season and tweak the knobs on my personality to suit the situation. Never in a disingenuous way, of course... but in a more guarded way. I want to play the shamelessly selfish jerk sometimes and not dial it down just because some other selfish jerk scoffs. I get too excited when I've stumbled on some collaborative thing that seems as if it's too good to be true. More often than not, it is. I had the opportunity to work on some amazing projects, with some extremely driven and passionate people, so in many instances, I remained steady on my feet and carved a niche for myself and my portfolio. But others have proved to be certainly uncertain in the end. You win some, you loose some. I'm sick of singing that particular hook and song, so I'll end with c'est la vie so forth and so on. The world is a vast place with so many undiscovered nooks and corners. I won't put my personal endeavors on the back-burner to help peddle someone else's agenda, only to end up with the short end of the stick... not anymore. Some things are no longer negotiable when it comes to my own personal growth and desires. I may be an insomniac, but I dream just like everybody else. I resolve to continue at my own pace and no one else's, unless it's lucrative and a good fit. 
While I'm not exactly thrilled over what the winter weather will bring (especially after what last year's snow storms wracked) or its starkness, I'm actually glad that summer is coming to an end. Fall is my favorite season and I tend to more introspective, more creative, and thirstier for robust Spanish wines. I also enjoy dressing for the fall. Fall's color palate suit me and I love indulging my love of opaque tights and boots. 
As always... To Be Continued...  

2 comments

  1. So many things I agree on! Especially about adjusting one's attitude as people come into your life (or try to interrupt it). I think this fall is certainly going to be blessed and prosperous one. Thanks for sharing your candor.

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  2. Sometimes, being frank and honest with one's self about certain situations is very necessary, no matter how disappointing it is. A lot of times, I inhibit myself and the strength of my personality to my detriment... just to placate someone else's and their ego.

    I've done this several times and have been in denial about it. And have always ended up only having inched forward no further than a centimeter or having been blown off once someone gets their needs met. Sometimes my first inclination is to CONSIDER compromising with someone not having been met in the middle. You know why? I'll get accused of not putting *my* best foot forward or being indecisive if I don't yield. When the tables are turned, People don't think TWICE about telling me how something will inconvenience *them* I'm not over-compromising anymore. My personal creative goals and time matter just as much as anybody else's. I don't mind collaborating with people, especially if I get to do what I love doing... which is write. But folks are definitely shameless in their selfishness and with pushing their agendas. As they should be. And as I will be more steadfast about doing. There's no future in playing nice... "Nicety" is more my speed.

    Thanks for reading and commenting! :-)

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