Fat Ass!

As if pejoratives like slut, skank, ho,' and skeezer weren't misogynist enough, women have to contend with having yet another epithet hurled at them. An old but still heavily used insult meant to bodyshame. 

These days, calling a woman 'fat' seems to be the insult du jour. Log onto any celebrity gossip site featuring posts that feature Kim Kardashian, Beyonce, Christina Hendricks, or pop singer Rihanna, and commenters (many women) are incited to the chorus: "I'm sick of Beyonce! FAT, no talent bitch!" 

"OMG, all of you people calling Christina Hendricks beautiful are probably fat ass cows!" 

"I hate Rihanna. Her thighs are HUGE and look like tree stumps!" 

"How can anybody find Kim Kardashian hot?? She's fucking gross. Maybe if she lost like 30 pounds, I'd bang her..." so forth and so on. 

The fit, drop-dead gorgeous people (because surely they must be straddling the line between perfection and 5-alarm hotness, right?) hiding behind their computer screens are intimidated by any hint of curvature on a woman's body and ignorant of what overweight and unhealthy truly is.

Women can be the most biting and hateful when calling other women fat, and will automatically assume that anyone not sporting a meth-chic physique lives a sedentary life filled with junk food and Häagen-Dazs. "Get to the gym bitch!"  has been the battle cry if you're a woman who dares to be curvy and in a disagreement with a thinner woman. I understand our current cult of personality is driven by image, and health and exercise are crucial. But, since when are women who don't fit someone else's norm or ideals instantly fat and lazy? 

While fat-shaming is often perpetuated by women toward other women, men are also guilty of using fat derisively. Especially if their romantic advances are rejected despite being overweight or unattractive themselves.

I recall a former coworker who, divorced for many years, shared that he happened upon his ex-wife's Facebook page and noted how much weight she'd gained. Bitter grapes since she initiated their divorce, and probably looked to be the picture of happiness in the Facebook visuals without him. And who can forget the episode of MTV's Jersey Shore when Mike 'The Situation' took a cheap shot at the quirky and lovable (albeit annoying and gaudy) Snookie during an argument at a group dinner. After she asked the waiter for more dinner rolls he quipped, "You already have a few rolls yourself," much to her embarrassment, sending her running and crying to the bathroom. Snookie later revealed that the inappropriate comment was triggering because she struggled with an eating disorder. 

I'm also reminded of the New York Times writer (a woman) who bitingly referred to Mad Men actress Christina Hendricks as a "big girl" in a "big dress" and cited it as a fashion faux pas.

When a woman is full-figured and visibly striking or attractive, she better not dare be stylish, confident, or sought after lest her bravado be likened to perpetuating an unhealthy lifestyle. 

"What a fat bitch! She's so unhealthy! How can she be happy?"  Even though healthy, active lifestyles aren't exclusive to one particular look.

As an attractive, plus-size Black woman, I don't consider myself a BBW  advocate because I choose not to define myself based on my body's proportions. I also don't quantify my worth by comparing my hips to another woman's. In fact, I dislike the term BBW. I'm also okay with the fact that I may not appeal to everyone's personal aesthetic and will probably fall victim to derisively being called fat during a disagreement that'll undoubtedly regress to schoolyard antics. Actually, some years ago, after telling a prospective paramour I wasn't into him, he tried to hit below the belt and said during our last phone call, "Well, good luck with your search. You have a sensuous look, and most guys aren't into that," to which I replied, "Hm, well you obviously are otherwise you wouldn't be calling me making one last desperate appeal to date you." Burn! But I digress...

Basically, I am bored with people hurling the term fat around when, in most cases, it doesn't even apply to the target of ridicule. And so what if someone isn't rail thin? Those seemingly so quick to call someone else a fat ass should probably examine their feelings of self-loathing and explore why they resent another person's confidence and self-acceptance in who they are.


Tracie Tsuneya said...


Jill said...

This delightfully curvalicious bitch agrees.

And for the record- having dated a few really scrawny guys (if they were women would we call them "thin" I wonder?) I can say firsthand that I cannot for the life of me understand why men would find skinny women sexy. Having had sex with a sack of bones was craptacular at best.

One in particular was so thin...I loved the little bastard, but five years with his skinny ass was way too many bruised hips. Thank god ONE of us had some padding or we'd have ended up poking each other to death, and not in any kind of pun filled delightful way.

Fat? Call me fat. Sticks and bones may bruise my hips but names won't ever stop me swinging these lovely hips, mmmmm mmmmm.

*snap snap snap*

Epona said...

Amen to that!!

It has been said many times before, but I am saying it again... Let us not forget, one of the most desirable women in history, Marilyn Monroe, was a size 12. Not a size 6, as seems to be the "cutoff" size nowadays if you want to be considered attractive. Women need to embrace who they are - not the size of their clothing or the number on a scale.

Droidtastical said...

Wow that was a well written entry, very sad but true that women have to deal with those issues. Although my friends enjoy women with thick legs. The media adds more fuel to the fire by insisting people look a certain way and bash those who don't. We all come in different shapes and sizes, different bone structures and genetics. Don't hate appreciate.

Shanel said...

well said-- well written. I think that the computer most definitely gives people courage that they don't really have. The internet is the place where passive aggressive behavior takes place... insults, racial slurs, homophobes hide behind the computer... it's sad.

Anonymous said...

I just want you to blog and sign my name...Amen, sister...Amen. Gina