New Year's Eve provides the opportunity, or excuse rather, to over imbibe in champagne, sparkling wines, and random other libations in the heat of the celebratory mood. Nothing however, agitates me more than seeing revelers shake up a perfectly good bottle of wine or them holding the bottle up in the air as they cork it, causing champagne to explode all over the place... wasting half of the goods and knocking someone in the face with the cork, in the process. It's a waste! by the time the fizz settles there's fuckall in the bottle and barely enough to go around. That being said... here are a few tips suggesting how one might want to open a bottle, like a decorous drunk. It works... I've opened bottles of champagne on flat, level surfaces before without damn near putting someone's eye out and causing the drink to go all over the floor and walls. Enjoy!