What the... ?

High waisted trousers are the "in" thing this season. I own two pairs, a navy blue, nautical/sailor pair with several buttons (which can be cumbersome when you're racing to get them undone to use the bog pan) and white pinstripes and a black pair with red pinstripes. Both are wide legged at the hem.
While straightening up my tiny, cramped closet this morning, I found them crammed in-between several black articles of clothing, and pulled them loose from their hangers. Excited I was, because I had forgotten all about them. I tried on the sailor style pair, and was pleased that they fit the same and made a mental note to wear them sometime next week. So I hung them where I wouldn't forget about them.
Next, I tried on the black pair with the red pinstripes. Um, those were a different story.
For whatever reason (chocolate? french bread? pasta? cheeses?), they were extremely tight around the hip, thigh, and butt areas and I could not, for the life of me, zip them all the way up. I tugged and I pulled. I laid down on the floo and pulled some more... alas, to no avail.
I was flummoxed, for I didn't understand why- (De-nial isn't just a river in Egypt apparently). I'm not one who obsesses over her weight, calories, the scale and such, and grow agitated by thin people who complain about their play-play fat, ad nauseum. I do try to consume whatever pleases me, in moderation and to keep the parts I've been dealt, looking as attractive and unslovenly as possible... I don't even know what my official weight or size are. My motto is: "if it fits and looks flattering, then I buy it and wear it." I've no desire to know such matters, because I don't want to stress over them. I've more important things to ponder... such as moisturization and exfoliation, who's going to win the 50 grand on VH1's Charm School, and whether Ugly Betty's dad will get a Visa to stay in the U.S. Moderation, health, avoiding morbid obesity, and staying active. That's all I care about.
While my weight fluctuates between the same 5 or 10 pounds, I've
also no desire to add excess to my already full, voluptuous frame, beyond that. So I was a bit bothered that I couldn't even zip my pants up. I wont even lie about that. Any excess flesh goes straight to my lower half... my hips expand, my behind gets even bigger, and... well, you know the rest... I'm fond of my full figure, most of the time, I really am, because it's proportionate, solid, and pear shaped... but I'm even fonder of those trousers. I think I over indulged this winter. I know this to be a fact. Of course I'd like to think I didn't, but those pants painted a telling portrait. Am I going on a diet? No. Will I join a gym? Riiight, like that's going to happen. Am I going on a chocolate and red wine hiatus? ... Oh HELL no! I simply need to revert back to portion control and be moderate. *sigh* And perhaps pass those trousers along, to my younger sister, whose hips are a little less comelier than mine are.

5 comments

Anonymous said...

Sounds like your sexy bits are dying to break free! Moderation is something we should all practice so I hear ya. Sometimes I don't think changes in the way we fit clothes is always weight related. As you age your meat shifts in mysterious ways. Either way, I think you're sexy and I look forward to sharing a glass of wine and a bar of chocolate with you when I get to Hartford in June. Okay, we can split a bar between the two of us...hahhahahahaha Like that would EVER last! hahahahaah

Anonymous said...

I always forget to put my name there!

hahahahah - Cat

Brunhilda said...

"I don't even know what my official weight or size are. My motto is: "if it fits and looks flattering, then I buy it and wear it." I've no desire to know such matters, because I don't want to stress over them."

I aspire to this, but I'm not quite there yet. I am a firm believer in fucking the size on the label. Yeah, you might squeeze your ass in a smaller size, but it ain't gonna look good. Go with what makes you look sexy! I hate when that shit happens too. Me, I'd just go out and buy an even more fabulous pair that really fits. hee hee.

This is why I love my shoes, no matter how much I indulge, they fit.

BeautyinBaltimore said...

"I simply need to revert back to portion control and be moderate"

The only way that truly works for the long run.

Chryssy said...

AMEN to that Sista!! I haven't weighed myself in YEARS!! I totally agree with the "everything in moderation" angle.

I do the same thing when I shop. If it looks great, I buy it. I just wish that womens clothing was standard in sizes. I mean I have jeans in a size 8 and other pairs in a 14. WTF!!! is that about?

LOL LOL on Jessucka's comment about the shoes. True dat!!