It's a Jungle Out There!

Inclement weather prevented it from taking place, but today's mild weather allowed the postponed St. Patrick's Day parade to take place downtown, today. As I left for work at 9AM this morning, the bars seemed to be in full swing. Pratt street was slated to be blocked off for a grand celebration complete with plenty of libations to imbibe in and food. I saw a few party people, decked out in their best greenery, gearing up for the afternoon. I sighed, for I knew what the aftermath would be, after I got off of work late afternoon. People did NOT disappoint. Spit, paper, popped balloons, red plastic cups, ciggie butts, and the like, littered the city streets. I walked past several people... stumbling down the street, blank stares in their eyes, discombobulated, grunting and mumbling incoherently, and unable to get their faculties to work properly. I felt like the sole survivor in a zombie flick. I kept a safe distance between them and me. As I took in the remnants of the parade. I got a few lascivious stares but I refused to make eye contact, for fear of getting a limb ripped off and my heart violently extricated from my chest and devoured. Almost home, I passed two young women, green beads glistening in the late afternoon sun, green top hats, whooooooooooooooo-ing their way down the street, calling strangers "SEXY MOTHERFUCKERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRS!!!! LOOK AT THAT SEXY MOTHERFUCKER! HE LOOKS HOT!!" I sidestepped a frat dude, drunkenly shuffling down the street... arms swinging limply by his sides, lip busted and bloody. The scene looked amusingly apocalyptic and strange. Every so often, I'd hear the siren of a police car blaring down the street, and then see the lights blinking frantically in the distance. Now it's raining. Acid rain? That would be a fitting conclusion for a drunken and debauched night, that's far from being over! Luckily I'm tucked away, safe, within the confines of my apartment... with my Red Zinfandel.


Unknown said...

for fear of getting a limb ripped off and my heart violently extricated from my chest and devoured.

Dude, you have a warped view of the Irish.......

BWHAHHAHAHAHA ;) LOVE the analogy of drunken fools lookin' like zombies LOLOLOLOL

I only saw one guy on St. Paddy's Day (I THINK we had a parade, not sure) - but anyway this was just some guy with a green & white felt hat, hanging on to a liquor store bag, stumbling down the street all on his lonesome - this was only around 4:30pm, as it was on my way home from work lol

I'm pretty sure he had a good

TiffJ said...

The one drunk you saw seems as if he were a parade of one. hahahaha.

It DID remind me of a scene out of some zombie flick. The way people were stumbling all glassy eyed, by me. Particularly when I saw that one a-hole stumbling around, w/ a busted lip. hahahaha
And I'm 110% certain ALL of those people were NOT Irish. ;-)