Twilight Zone and an embarrassing Bus Tale

What a harrowing and stressful week it has been. I feel as if I've been living in the Twilight Zone! Firstly, I had to evacuate my apartment, due to an explosion (of the water heater) in the boiler room beneath the building in which I reside. I stayed with my deliriously fun and vocal family during this time. En route to my mother's house, to Bloomfield, as I hefted my heavy bag onto the bus, I fell in front of passengers. They fell silent. Luckily no one laughed... not to my knowledge anyway. I hopped up as if nothing happened (this is the best thing to do, in these embarrassing situations), hefted up my heavy roll along piece of luggage, and paid my $1.25 fare... as the bus driver gasped, clutched his chest, and asked,
"Ohmygod! Miss, are you okay!"
"Sure" I answered proudly, as I stuck my chest out, jutted my chin forward and strode to my seat... into which I shrunk down in embarrassment. I also discovered, after listening to a voicemail this past Friday, that I dropped my wallet. Fortunately for me, the woman who found it and left the message, was someone I recognized as a regular bus bus rider, from the A route. I didn't even KNOW I dropped it, until she called. I met her at her job, as per her directions, and she had it for me... suggested I check to make sure everything was there, and opined, "God is good!" I'm not a religious person, but the stars and goddesses were definitely working in my favor, considering this very decent person, was the one who happened upon my very personal belongings. As I sifted through my wallet's contents, I saw the same sad and crumpled dollar, still nestled in the billfold.
"I had to check your checkbook in order to get your phone number"
she said... I thanked her profusely, and told her I had a rough week, so the fact that she was the one who happened upon my wallet and called just made it a little better. Now I'm back and settled, but had to contend with uncomfortably cold living conditions. Due to these circumstances, I woke up with a bit of a sinus cold today. My head felt as if it weighed 100 pounds, as it pulsated and throbbed painfully. Saturday, as I sat at this very laptop, emailing in nothing more than a long, black sweater and panties, a pair of earphones strapped to my ears... as I jammed to some Amy Winehouse, I turned around to find four maintenance men making their way into my apartment! Needless to say, I was NOT pleased. In a very agitated voice, I asked them to leave! "Oh, I'm sorry. We need to check the heater" "Please leeave" I insisted, as I stayed glued to my seat, afraid to stand. "You want us to come back in ten minutes??" The super asked. "I want you all to leave!" I said, again. I mean, I'm sure I did not hear them knocking, due to the headphones I was wearing, but there's no way they didn't hear my tv blaring in the background before entering. Either way, they should've left STAT when they saw me sitting there sans pants! It was an embarrassing moment for all involved! Now I feel as if I can't really relax. I keep thinking 4 to 5 unsexy maintenance men, led by an overly zealous building superintendent, will burst into my apartment unannounced... so I've made sure to have pants on at all times since the incident. Now I'm warm, sated (in every respect), and somewhat relaxed. I'm just feeling as if I'm able to decompress and exhale... inhaling during intermittent moments, while I collect my thoughts, and stuff my gob with Mr. Chan's China Town Almond Cookies... washed down with Chardonnay. Don't ask. I found the cookies at the Dollar Tree a week or so ago and forgot I had them in my cupboard!


  1. jennifer aka kermit1:19 AM

    Damn, that sucks some droopy balls. Many kisses to the many sex-ay parts!!!

  2. I was wondering why you hadn't posted in a while, NOW I KNOW WHY LOLOLOL

    My super had to bust in once because my sink was leaking - I didn't know - and the bathroom below me was totally flooded - I was wearing dirty pajamas & a tank top (I'd been cleaning all day) and hadn't showered or anything, I was like "Oh, um, hello...." - but hey, at least I had pants on! LOL!

    SUPER cool that that lady found your wallet - sometimes there really are good people, eh? :)

  3. well at least you are okay

  4. Sending lots of happy thoughts and chocolate covered strawberries your way!

  5. Coffey in Canada they are not allowed to enter apartments without 24 hours notice, unless there is an emergency in that apartment. If they did to us here what they did to you, they'd get their asses sued off.

    I'm glad you are in the comforts of your own home. There really is no place like home, huh?

  6. oh coffey, I would have killed those assholes! wow!

    that really is very cool that particular lady was the one who found your wallet. unfortunately that kind of decency seems a bit more rare these days.

    I had a guy smash the hell out of my car in a parking lot a number of years ago - and he actually left his business card and a note! and when I called and sent him the estimate to get it fixed, he sent me a check within a day - for $1100. I couldn't believe some people were still really that honest (tho granted, he did it that way so we wouldn't have to call insurance companies).

  7. That sounded like a porno setup...aside from the being unwelcome and not sexy.