Coffee Rhetoric: weather
Showing posts with label weather. Show all posts
Showing posts with label weather. Show all posts

March 05, 2009

Bus Tale and Other Matters

So, I've literally been in bed since Monday evening. I'm sure waiting out in an unexpected, blizzard-like snowstorm for 20 mintues for a bus (before learning there was a 2 hour delay, and I didn't need to be to work until later)- helped aggravate matters, because as the day progressed, my throat got scratchier, my head throbbed more, my annoyance level was at a 20, and my sinuses pulsed and tingled. I hardly ever get sick, so when I do, I may as well be on the cusp of death because it's a feeling unlike any other. All-llll sinus and throat... mostly sinus. I can't think, I can't eat, I feel discombobulated... I just want to crawl into a hole a la like I'm Alice, and stay there until it's all over. It's a sick of epic proportions that makes me moan for my mom! Tired of lying underneath the covers reeking of Vicks Vaporub, I dragged my wrecked carcass out of bed to check email, light some incense sticks, and relay this lovely little Bus Tale that took place on the aforementioned Monday. Perhaps this exacerbated the illness that'd been percolating and weakened my body's defenses even further? I don't know ...
Monday, I headed back out into the horrible weather... properly bundled up, face covered with large shades, and perplexed by the onslaught of snow that hit the East after such cooperative weather! Thankful that I didn't have to wait long for the bus the second time around, it stopped in front of me and I boarded. A troglodyte sitting across from me with, ohhhh... saaay about 4 teeth (I didn't make eye contact with him for too long) looked me up and down lasciviously... "How's it going sistah" he said appreciatively. I mumbled something akin to a greeting, an attempt not to be rude, but a sure sign that I wasn't impressed and didn't want to engage him. He continued to stare, I made sure to keep my shaded eyes averted. "You are veery beautiful. Just the kinda sistah I like." he said in his bestest sexytimes voice. I shot him a disdainful look (hidden by my dark shades), jerked my shoulders in an indifferent shrug and turned away.

"I'm sure you're just as beautiful on the inside as you are on the outside though..." he continued.

I didn't respond... well, okay, my mouth tightened into a sneer. The bus ride was quickly turning into the longest 5 or 10 minutes I'd ever had to endure. When my stop finally approached, I quickly pulled the lever and stood up before it came to a complete stop... anxious to get the eff off. Much to my chagrin, my yuck-mouthed admirer got off at the same stop... He continued on with his disgusting and unwelcome courtship...
"You alright sistah..." he continued. "Yup!" I yelled over my shoulder as I jumped over a high snow bank (in record time... unheard of!). "Oh, I figured you needed help over the snow bank or somethin'" he said as he looked on lecherously. "Nope!" I said quickly as I made a beeline across the street... away from him.
"Alright then!" he yelled after me. "I'm gonna dream about you tonight!!!" he threatened. I ran faster.
So now here I am... home in bed... sick and blowing demonic and unmentionable things from the depths of my sinuses ... Yup. It's definitely the troglodyte's fault!

February 07, 2009


About a week or so ago, my queen-sized inflatable bed lost its juice and deflated. Much to my chagrin, I woke up on the floor. I literally had to rooll out of bed... or the remnants of what once was. Scrambling up and out proved irritating. I felt like I was in one of those inflatable bounce houses that kids frolic in at indoor playgrounds. Needless to say, I've been sleeping on a palate on the living room floor. This is the reality of my sleeping situation. Which isn't bad, but I didn't relish seeing a spider scramble from under my comforter when I woke up. Not a good look. Not the type of living creature I want to share my bed with. Fret not me, for pretty soon (hopefully within the next two weeks) I'll have a real king-sized bed to wallow around in, and a couch to boot! At no cost. It pays to have friends who need to part with items they no longer need.
Friday was a fun giggle fest. Despite not being as settled in as I'd like, I hosted a small, intimate gathering. Lots of drinking, trash talking, and conversation ensued... followed by a viewing of Pimps Up, Ho's Down: The Director's Cut. Despite how many may feel about this in-your-face documentary, there are a lot of pearls of wizdumb to live by. Women with low self-esteem beware. Economic times are tough, and while the Pimps Up... documentary was made approximately 10 years ago... they prey on the downtrodden and the disenchanted. Whatever you do, don't eyeball a pimp wrecklessly, lest you want to give up 10-15% of your earnings. 'Nuff said. The DVD skipped a few times, and the fact that I've watched it on the dozens was called to the table. I cannot tell a lie. It's one of my favorite discs to pull out. King James and Scorpio are pimps with hearts of pure gold.
On a completely different and unrelated note, despite what that disgusting and perplexed looking rodent they pull out of the ground dictates, I sense that Spring is on the horizon. I always feel anxious and wait with bated breath for Spring to arrive. I don't know what it is about this particular season, but I look forward to it every year. This winter has proved to be long, depressing, bitterly cold and unrelenting. I am literally begging for a reprieve. I want to put my little snowman away for the year. As far as dating prospects go, there aren't very many here. I've come to that sad conclusion. One may have to outsource for a man who acts like he has some sense and respectability. I'm leery and disappointed anytime anyone approaches me. I'm guessing the corny pick-up line with never die the slow death I'd like it to. The total lack of respect and originality makes me feel like I need to walk around strapped! Needless to say, the season in this cold city has been dry in that respect, but then again, I've been extremely preoccupied and uninterested. I'd be a liar if I said this didn't bother me to some degree.