Coffee Rhetoric: I Dig

September 12, 2007

I Dig

Dear Terrence Howard,
I'm a stickler for proper hygiene habits and so make sure to warsh my delicates as clean as a whistle. Because my neuroses (particularly in regards to hygienics) know no bounds and grows wild like unsightly pubic hair, on a weekly basis, I completely understood where you were coming from when you recently ranted about the importance of cleanliness:
"Do I think we need to readdress how we clean ourselves? Yeah. It took a long time for soap to catch on. Now everyone uses soap. So let's be a little more clean, you guys. Let's not be germophobic, but let's be clean when we can."
I do think you had people (women especially) perplexed and scratching their heads when you went on this rant just prior to the aforementioned one, during an Elle Magazine interview, however, discussing what particular female habits turn you off:
"Toilet paper - and no baby wipes - in the bathroom. If they're using dry paper, they aren't washing all of themselves. It's just unclean. So if I go in a woman's house and see the toilet paper there, I'll explain this. And if she doesn't make the adjustment to baby wipes, I'll know she's not completely clean."
and then during another recent press junket, you spoke about your fear of Serbian drive-bys. Go figure. Anyway Terrence, I think baby wipes just don't cut it as an efficient way for women (or men) to freshen up their delicates. They work wonders for babies, as a gentle alternative to wiping off eye makeup, and to freshen up your face on the go. But there are even better ways for us to "wash all of ourselves." Summer's Eve has these great and very convenient feminine cleansing cloths. They also carry a line of body washes, talcum powder, feminine deodorant spray, and hygienic products of the like. Terrence if you don't see baby wipes in a woman's bathroom upon your initial perusal, don't despair. Just know that there are other ways a woman may be maintaining her delicates. Perhaps she uses a simple wash cloth and a bar of Dove to make sure she's fresh and clean for you. I do think men could benefit from freshening up as well. Stale urine, pre-cum, and sweat does not a sexy smell make. And quite frankly, some men can be quite gamy and potent, and that is a turn off for many of us women. I do agree that the general populace needs to readdress the issue of cleanliness and how we maintain ourselves. There is nothing worse than someone thinking they're doing the environment a favor, by choosing not to wear deodorant. I actually think smelling bad on purpose (and with purpose) is inconsiderate and rude. We have so many wonderful products at our disposal (many of which are environmentally friendly), there's no reason for it really. Dental hygiene is another issue that needs to be readdressed as well. Flossing and gargling with mouth wash has never killed anyone. Terrence, I know the gossip blogs have deemed you off your rocker and christened you Terrence "baby wipes" Howard, among other names... but I saw past the rest of your unintelligible rant, and realized the meat of your argument: Cleanliness is indeed, a divine and noble concept! Get in touch with me, and let's talk about it some more.