This Single Girl's Lament... again

(sigh) I should rename this blog: "The Masturbatory Adventures of A Chronically Single Girl Who Can't Get A Date and Sits At Home Watching Will & Grace on DVD" It seems that's what I talk about on this blog, constantly. Yesterday (Saturday), a co-worker asked what I was going to go home and do afterwork... if I was going to go out. I casually answered, "No. I'm going home to eat microwave popcorn and to watch Will & Grace on DVD. Karen is so funny!" She responded by laughing and saying, "We need to find you a man!" as I stood there snickering along, but inside feeling crestfallen and sheepish. See, I didn't mind that I was eager to get home for popcorn and a little ...Grace but the fact that my non-existent love life has become somewhat of a joke makes me feel a little, well, pathetic. (due to no one else's fault by the way, just my own morose (but temporary-feeling). I'm not desperate for a boyfriend by any means, and have come to terms with my singular status (particularly when I consider the one or two brief and forgettable encounters I've had). I'm fine with it, but I guess I have moments where I feel bad that my only answers to "What are you doing this Friday?" or "Got plans this weekend?" are "nothing, no, reading, going to go listen to jazz...alone, DVD, making dinner for myself" I suppose I feel a little discomfited, because others- (and not on a consistent basis, but when it comes, it hits home a little rough)- tend to make me feel bad for not having any plans with some man. Why do people (particularly those who're attached or married), make single people feel like a pile of shit, a little each time, when we don't have any sordid tales of sexcapades to report back to them? Just because I'm single doesn't mean I have gang-bangs and anonymous one-night stands with strangers every weekend (although my defense mechanism is to joke about doing so). Some people seem a little disappointed that I never have anything salacious to report. Yes, I'd like to meet Mr. Wonderful, to find my "Compliment" see I Self Ra's blog on this but I've come to terms with the fact that it will come in due time- (a psychic told me when I'm 28. And that it'd be a solid relationship)- that I don't have what I would like to have now. I'm content with being single and don't like being made to feel bad, because I spend a lot of my weekends at home watching DVDs or curled up with a glass of red, reading a book. I've written about this ad nauseum. I feel okay, so there's no need for other women (the primary hecklers) to tsk and cluck at me sympathetically. And anyway, the popcorn was the movie theater kind that had extra butter on it. So much, that it splattered the walls of my microwave. I enjoyed every morsel of it and was content as I laughed and guffawed at Will & Grace. It takes a lot of will and grace to be happy with who you are, not to go to some bar searching for it with some flavor of the minute who only wants to screw you and then forget your name and number... not to want a boyfriend due to some co-dependent need. My rebel prince will come. He will be smart, charismatic, confident, creative, articulate, honest, respectful, will smell good et al. When we find one another, it will be a natural progression that we both want.

4 comments

Anonymous said...

Tell it, girl! Men are amazing creatures and I'm terribly curious about them, however, it's WONDERFUL to just come home and BE. I can watch episodes of Felicity, go see cheesy girly movies and laugh as loud as I want when I'm at the theatres...it's discovering who we are as single women that makes us so wonderful to couple with when the right man comes along. It's beautiful to realize that you don't have to go out looking for it. LIVE IT UP! Who knows how long this period of our lives will last, you know?!

- Cat

Unknown said...

1. if a single or married person jokes you about your single life, they are usually very envious or unhappy. There ARE exceptions to the rule

2. as long as your happy, me happy. that's what matters.

3. you seem to have a good time

4. "When you watch Will & Grace, you don't have a problem! Will does! White power! "

(I had to throw that in there)

TiffJ said...

Hahahaha,
Iselfra, I see you watch Chappelle show too! "If you have hate in your heart let it out!"

Amadeo said...

I say tell em to piss off. I've had enough bad and good experiences with the opposite sex to not rush around looking for one. That's given me more "how did I end up with her" moments than I care to remember. Besides I'm the Single Man's Champion - championing the cause of single men everywhere.