Coffee Rhetoric: Swag
Showing posts with label Swag. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Swag. Show all posts

July 24, 2011

Coffee Buzz: Bracelets and Booze

Last night, I had the opportunity to build with some friends and drink copious amounts of wine and delicious mixed drinks with chaste lewd names. All in all, it was an evening not unlike your standard bible study... except there was freak dancing, prompted along by said wine and spirits.
A hilarious and lovely woman by the name of Riqui regaled us with anecdotes involving sex, thugs, and rock and roll... She also laid out an awesome display of handmade, bracelets and earrings strung with wooden and glass beads ranging a very reasonable $7 - $10! 
We were all sold. And forked over our dollar bills. Riqui's bracelets come in a wide variety of color combinations and accessorize quite nicely. She's also mindful of special requests, has made beaded anklets, and will eventually add necklaces and larger, fabric earrings and hoops to her arsenal of cool accessories. Her website is currently still under construction, so please feel free to express any inquiries in the comments section, as I think they'd make great gifts for loved ones, friends, and family. Speaking of the comments section ...
Riqui was gracious enough- (with much begging and prodding by the Committee of Me, Myself, & I) - to donate this earrings and bracelet set made with amber, coral, and Tiffany-blue glass beads for Coffee Rhetoric's VERY FIRST giveaway! An exciting feat for me since Zaahir created the Coffee Rhetoric discount for his company, Exotic Fragrance, to much fanfare. Any chance I get to be able to engage these sorts of fun, promotional opportunities, is an exciting venture and is done with genuine love for the product and admiration for the person at the helm of it. 
Leave a witty response with your email address, in the comments section of this post for the opportunity to win it! I will randomly choose a name on August 1st and contact the winner via email, as well as announce them on Coffee Rhetoric. 
Take advantage because I begged Riqui to GIVE me the bracelet and earrings free of charge before she was gripped and incapacitated by drunken revelry, to GIVE TO YOU, because I think she is talented and that folks would truly enjoy her beaded trinkets. I'm wearing two of her pieces as I type this. Anyway, get into it... 

Up for Grabs! 

March 24, 2010

Bus Tales: Umm, Er... I'm not sure

Today's society illustrates that we not only live in a multifaceted world complete with racially ambiguous people, political fence straddlers, and omnisexual revelers, but gender ambiguity factors into this ever increasing equation as well... 
This afternoon, while en route to my mother's house, my interest was initially piqued by the intimate yet loud details of a petite young woman's cell-phone conversation...
"Yeah! I know she's mad I left the apartment on Sumner Street, but I'm sorry, that shit was just disgusting! It smelled like pure DOG! I was like HELL NO! I really don't care!! She has such a nasty attitude. I don't know how she got my fucking cell phone number!! I changed my number for a reason! Don't let me have to give her baby's father her number!! And she wonders why he doesn't wanna deal wit her ass! ... " 
When two teenagers, shoulders bogged down with book-heavy backpacks stumbled onto the bus. Initially I thought they were both young teenaged boys, They both had on the uniform and look typical of most young men living in urban areas... trendy, yet baggy jeans, Timbaland-lite footwear, large polo shirts, caps pulled down low over their heads, and mouths hanging open...thoughts laden with the superficial... no doubt. Bored with petite woman's conversation, I began to listen to the two young men sitting across from me, until I noted the heavier set guy's voice...  His? voice was husky and deep... almost as if its tone were contrived. Intrigued, I looked up and noted he? had extension braids pulled back into a bun at the nape of his? neck and a baseball cap pulled down low... his? eyebrows were also groomed into an arch. He? spoke about girls to his? smaller boned friend... "Yeah, I saw her sitting in class. I was trying to talk to her... It's a good thing there's a such thing as Twitter! " she? laughed to her? friend... who was looking down and busy punching away on his? phone's qwerty keypad. 
Small boned friend wore a striped tube cap pulled down over his? head... and noticeably sparkly studs in each pierced ear. He? was undoubtedly a boy... until he? looked up and out the window and proclaimed in a high-pitched teen girl's voice... "Oh look! That's *insert girl's name here* walking down the street! The one in the pink boots!" 
"Who is that?" his? husky voiced friend asked, looking towards the object of his friend's attention. 
"That's the girl I was telling you about! I was trying to talk to her earlier!" 
I grew more confused, and tried as best as I could to study their features without being overt and rude about it... Small boned went back to busily typing on his... um, her? phone's keypad... on Twitter. "How do you spell 'committed'? Does it have one 't' or two?" 
"Com-mi-TED... One 't' " the huskier one offered, after sounding it out. I cringed and was tempted to interject and say "There're TWO 't's' in committed." but opted to mind my own business. Still intrigued by the fact that I had no clue whether or not either of them had been born girls, I listened to them giggle about their female classmates... notably the ones they thought were the cutest... Then they pulled the wire that rings the bell to stop, for Albany Avenue and departed. 
The moral to this little anecdote is that I guess it doesn't matter. They're being who they choose and want to be... However, I'm still bothered that 'committed' was tweeted incorrectly. That is all. 

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August 28, 2008


At work feeling lazy, abandoned (because most people had cut out early), and disheartened that the vending machine refused me a Kit Kat bar- I headed back to my desk looking for things NOT to do. The gargantuan September issue of Vogue magazine stared back at me, as if saying, "Well, smartass, you could always thumb through me, and oogle all the pretty, shiny delectables you could never afford in this lifetime."
I noticed it came with a free, supplemental magazine called Fashion Rocks. I ripped open the plastic, flipped Vogue the bird (for now), and opted for Fashion Rocks mag instead. I blew through the pages, bored and uninspired by some parts of it, sort of interested in others when an article caught my eye: Hip-Hop Heirlooms. Apparently, auction house Phillips de Pury & Company is having its first ever auction featuring personal pieces of bling from hip hop's choicest members . A category unheard of in the genteel world of high class haggling for expensive and rare items.
Diamond encrusted pieces- (many of which have such sentimental value, their owners had to think long and hard before parting with them)- such as Lil Jon's 73 carat diamond "Crunk Ain't Dead" chain- (listed in the Guinness Book of World Records as the largest and heaviest pendant in the world and appraised at $500,000), a gold and ruby crown shaped ring owned by Tupac Shakur, and L.L. Cool J.'s diamond microphone pendant. Gems from the collections of Kanye West, P. Diddy, 50 Cent, Biz Markie, Missy Elliot, the Notorious B.I.G, and other rap notables will also be presented during the sale. A total of 50 pieces will be up for auction.
EPIC! I think the addition of this section in Phillips de Pury's catalog is a clear indication of hip hop's universal appeal and influence over popular culture and most importantly, fashion and pop art. The uptight and the narrow-minded may as well deal with that fact. In any event, A portion of the proceeds will benefit Russell Simmons' non-profit organization Rush Community Affairs.
If you have a few million dollars lying around in a duffle bag somewhere, perhaps you may want to mosey on over to 450 West 15th Street in NYC on October 1, and place your bids. Better yet, feel free to visit one of my favorite sites, Girl Props (also located on 153 Prince Street in NYC) and get this lovely little trinket for $24.99. Don't judge. It's cute and a cheaper alternative!

June 26, 2008


I'm no prude. My mouth and mind emit and harbor some rather colorful and randy thoughts and commentary. That aside, every now and again I will meet the acquaintance of a phrase or piece of slang that'll make me either giggle with glee, shrug my shoulders indifferently, or roll my eyes, perplexed by its sheer stupidity. Yesterday was no exception, for I recently discovered the term "No Homo." Which has been in use for some time, apparently. Ridiculous and awkward sounding... its meaning is even more nonsensical. basically defines No Homo! as a phrase one shouts out after having inadvertently said something, well, 'gay'. Anonymous contributors offer up a wide array of witty examples (and I'm copying and pasting them verbatim. Grammatic errors and misspellings intact) such as: Hay man, pass the nuts. No homo and I cornered him in my room and nailed him with a board. No homo. Or my personal favorite: 'yo homie, i just spent five hours talking with my man on the phone, no homo'
Apparently, yelling out "NO HOMO" after having made an ambiguously homosexy sounding comment, is supposed to cancel out a heterosexual man's femme side or make him seem even more virile. How butch. Non? I opine that it's just another way for some chauvinist, insecure fuckknob- (conflicted over his own sexuality)- to unnecessarily assert his manhood, because he may perhaps (I'm just speculating) harbor some deep, dark, sexy fantasies involving Leather Bear Daddies, lithe... sinewy Twinks, and silicone butt plugs.
What better way for a man to feel like a MAN than to indulge in a daily dose of homophobia? It's simply not enough to hoot and holler in a strip club or pour Cristal and money all over a hooker, for that's just a whetting of the MAN'S appetite for destruction. I'd be willing to wager that this term is born out of the RAP (notice I said RAP and not Hip Hop) culture of posturing, dick swinging, and champagne dreams and delusions of making it rain on some ho's. Just saying... NO HOMO!

January 13, 2007

Swag, dahleeng, swaaag...

The Hollywood Foreign Press Association is nixing celebrity swag bags this year, due to the IRS' crackdown on the expensive goody bags. For some reason, I was smirking with glee after reading this article. These overstuffed gift bags, which can be overflowing with $40,000 worth of free booty, are generally given to celebrities for merely presenting an award to nominees. I never understood the concept of giving multi-millionaires free stuff, they can afford or probably already own. I understand that it may be free publicity for some fledgling boutiques or a new fashion line, but it's gotten out of hand. I attended the Sundance Film Festival in 2005, and was lucky enough to get invited to some celebrity parties, and it was amazing how greedily some of these people snatched up the free goodies. Bearing witness to this swag phenomenon, I found that the rich and famous don't have to pay for their drinks... the bar was open to them (and me). It's almost as if these people can walk around within the realm of their bubble and do and have whatever it is they want. I mean, they have booths and whole cabins set up as temporary boutiques, at the Sundance Film Festival, a wonderland filled with free and expensive merchandise, where celebrities come, browse, pick out 10 Tag Heuer watches, 10 pairs of Gucci shades, luggage, vacations, spa treatments, a luxury purse, and ski attire; which they're fitted for, among other things, the greed and entitlement glistening in their eyes ... all for FREE. Most celebs only make an appearance at the festival, not for the art of independent films, but because they want to shop for free. Then they get on the next jet out of Utah, and go on about their business. I'm guessing Robert Redford never intended for his endeavor to be known as Swag Land. Oh, and don't think that, just because you're a friend or family member of a celebrity and you just happen to be present during this gratis shopping free, that you'll get spillover perks. These things are just for the "it" person of the moment. So keep your grubby, commoner hands to yourself, stand by, and look on longingly at the mountain of electronics, clothes, and jewelry. Certain types of celebrities seem oblivious to the real world... because they tend to mistake the real world for, well, swag. Some of these people go to bars and restaurants and think they don't have to settle their bill at the end of the evening, or tip accordingly, and they approach bouncers and doormen, asking, "Don't you KNOW who I AM???" These awards shows are lavishly thrown together for their benefit. To honor them and their craft. Isn't this what they work towards? Then why should they get free bags full of thousands of dollars worth of stuff? They're getting recognition, a lavish meal, drinks, and they get to party afterwards, all for free. I'm not getting on a soapbox, I'm ranting, because I am glad that celebrity swag is being questioned. Perhaps it'll eventually be phased out all together.