Coffee Rhetoric: Dreams
Showing posts with label Dreams. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Dreams. Show all posts

May 04, 2008

Evermore Curiouser...

The Caterpillar and Alice looked at each other for some time in silence: at last the Caterpillar took the hookah out of its mouth, and addressed her in a languid, sleepy voice. `Who are you?' said the Caterpillar. This was not an encouraging opening for a conversation. Alice replied, rather shyly, `I--I hardly know, sir, just at present-- at least I know who I WAS when I got up this morning, but I think I must have been changed several times since then.' `What do you mean by that?' said the Caterpillar sternly. `Explain yourself!' `I can't explain myself, I'm afraid, sir' said Alice, `because I'm not myself, you see.' `I don't see,' said the Caterpillar. `I'm afraid I can't put it more clearly,' Alice replied very politely, `for I can't understand it myself to begin with; and being so many different sizes in a day is very confusing.' `It isn't,' said the Caterpillar. `Well, perhaps you haven't found it so yet,' said Alice; `but when you have to turn into a chrysalis--you will some day, you know--and then after that into a butterfly, I should think you'll feel it a little queer, won't you?' `Not a bit,' said the Caterpillar. `Well, perhaps your feelings may be different,' said Alice; `all I know is, it would feel very queer to me.' `You!' said the Caterpillar contemptuously. `Who are you?' Which brought them back again to the beginning of the conversation. Alice felt a little irritated at the Caterpillar's making such very short remarks, and she drew herself up and said, very gravely, `I think, you ought to tell me who you are, first.' `Why?' said the Caterpillar. Here was another puzzling question; and as Alice could not think of any good reason, and as the Caterpillar seemed to be in a very unpleasant state of mind, she turned away. `Come back!' the Caterpillar called after her. `I've something important to say!' This sounded promising, certainly: Alice turned and came back again. `Keep your temper,' said the Caterpillar. `Is that all?' said Alice, swallowing down her anger as well as she could. `No,' said the Caterpillar. Alice thought she might as well wait, as she had nothing else to do, and perhaps after all it might tell her something worth hearing. For some minutes it puffed away without speaking, but at last it unfolded its arms, took the hookah out of its mouth again, and said, `So you think you're changed, do you?' `I'm afraid I am, sir,' said Alice; `I can't remember things as I used--and I don't keep the same size for ten minutes together!'
-Alice in Wonderland, chapter 5: Advice from a Caterpillar

January 31, 2008

Diary of an Insomniac

Work, drop some Visine, keep busy to avoid nodding, moodiness, irritability sans reason, multiple bathroom breaks, coffee, coffee sludge, more coffee, water, hard candy, lemonade, vitamins, home, eat, tv, more tv, read, eyes wide open into the wee hours, close eyes for a couple of hours, wake up, channel surf half heartedly, fall asleep, wake up two hours later, massage swollen feet, iron out kinks in neck and back, shuffle to the shower, shuffle through the morning, rush to the bus stop, rush to work, Work, drop some Visine, keep busy to avoid nodding, high strung, sudden burst of energy, candy coffee, powdered lemonade mix, erotic day dreams, burning eyes, blow nose, eat almonds, drink more coffee, ... wine, coffee, coffee, wine, hallucinate, doze, wake up with a jolt, doze, watch infomercials, doze, doze... sleep, wake up 2 hours later, shuffle... doze... work... coffee... .... .... Visine, Advil, Pamprin, coffee, heavy lids, tea, news, infomercials, unintelligible, snooze button, thoughts wont be quiet. ... heavy lids... heavy. thtoughs. wont. be. QUIET. lids. thoughts... heavy lids... thoughts wont be quiet... ... ... pass out fully clothed, not having washed face. wake up at 3 AM, pajamas, wake up hour 1/2 later... heavy. lids. lids. SNOOZE, BUTTON, .. .... coffee. ... ... auto pilot. *yawwwwwn* coffee.... vit.a.mins ... autopilot.

January 01, 2008

Sensual Seduction

For the past couple of weeks, I've been watching marathons on the Travel Channel. Bizarre Foods with Andrew Zimmern and Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations. Both shows are pretty much parallel to each other but, I've always been a huge fan of Anthony Bourdain, since the publication of his bestselling book Kitchen Confidential: Adventures in the Culinary Underbelly. Anthony Bourdain is brash and unapologetic with his gastronomic opinions about cooking, vegetarianism, and celebrity (faux) chefs. Moreover, his approach to food, ciggies, and drink seems almost hedonistic. Shamelessly hedonistic. No Reservations makes me a fan of his all over again. Last night I watched Anthony navigate the epicurean and multicultural splendor of Sao Paolo, Brazil. He and two Brazilian companions dipped in and out of the frenzied rehearsals of Carnivale, visited decadent food stands that touted the wonders of pork with all the fixings and various other kabobed meats. They chugged caipirinhas one after the other during their food-hops. But one segment in particular stirred weird emotions inside of me. Anthony, his crew, and his two Paolista friends visitied an Afro Brazilian woman's home. Apparently, this woman opens up her small, modest home to weary travelers (many of whom pay her a small fee) filling them up with a home cooked Brazilian meal (with roots born from Brazil's African slaves), wonderful company, and drink. I watched everyone... the production crew included... appear rapturous and hynotized by this woman's hospitality. Cheeks flushed, eyes glazed from the effects of good food and drink. She had full on seduced them. The scene that played out during that particular segment seduced me. It made me tear (or it could've been the pinot noir I was sipping, but who knows). I felt an overwhelming sense of wanderlust. And a strong desire to be in that particular mix... dancing, eating, my brow covered in a sheen of sweat as a side effect. It made me yearn to be abroad once more. Because that is the exact feeling I had when I frolicked, drank, and ate with abandon, whilst in Palermo, Sicily. I felt nostalgic and emotional because I was once caught up in the rapture of an exotic locale with people who relished and appreciated food and used it as a way to congregate and engage one another... as opposed to our (Americans) unhealthy relationship with food, eating, and feeling regretful afterward. Perhaps I felt a little emotional because 2008 for me, will present a new career opportunity that, if all goes well, may just allow me to experience that high once again. This past year was tumultuous. Not just with me, but universally. Hopefully '08 will offer a slight reprieve, if only for a moment!

September 30, 2007


It's building... the anticipation... expectancy... wanting. You ever been so close to something, have something virtually in your grasp, you can literally graze it with your fingertips? Feel it? Grasping, holding, and having are concepts I've been pushing hard to accomplish. I'm dying to experience this one triumphant moment so that I can overcome this stagnancy. I've been stationary for far too long. A lot depends on it. It's a diet plan that'll surely trim off at least 10 to 15 pounds of fat, and allow me to be more mobile.

September 14, 2007

And the HATEFUL beat drums on...

I don't have too much to say about the sheer despicable-ness of this crime. How does one even begin?? While our country's leaders fight a fruitless war on terror, and label the likes of Assata Shakur as a terrorist. These are the faces that represent real, homegrown evil, terrorism, and hate. Read and view the video for yourselves.

August 17, 2007

Delusions of Grandeur

I'm someone to aspire to or towards rather. Who knew? All this time, I've been lamenting over having the worst karma of anybody in the nation, only to learn that someone considers me a gem. See, this morning I lugged a backpack, my tote bag, my sunglasses, and a cup of coffee down the street. A balancing act I struggled to conquer and win. I fought to open and then put on my shades with one free hand. I finally had to stop in order to accomplish that particular task, because I kept jabbing myself in the eye and mouth with said shades' handles. Needless to say, I made it up the street to the bus stop, shades on face and coffee still in-tow. I won the battle. Not a drop of hot coffee seared its way through my slacks, burning my ample thigh. I felt triumphant. Anyway, two other men were standing there when I approached the stop. One of them greeted me (before telling his partner to "look out" under his breath so he would move out of his and my way so as not to er block?), "Hello beautiful, how are you this morning?" I responded by mumbling "Good morning" with something akin to a smile, but was more like a sneer. Either way, it sufficed. I stood a couple of feet away from the men, and because I'm not particularly fond of myself, I listened to my greeter talking rather loudly to his acquaintance (and also cursed myself for forgetting my MP3 player at work) ...
"...Yeah, yeah. I was wondering what happened to you! I didn't see you at work for the past couple of dayz! Yeah..."
I couldn't hear what dude numero dos was mumbling, because my ambitious greeter proceeded to hijack the discussion, blithering away rather boisterously. He continued...
"Yeah, yeah, yeah! I'm trying to get me a little something better. Trying to find me a job so I can get me a little something like that. (juts his chin in my direction) Here what I'm sayin'?"
*sigh* I didn't hear dude numero dos's response. I was just glad to see my bus making its way down the street. I honestly didn't know whether to feel flattered, amused, or disturbed. It's official. I have DOUCHE MAMA stamped on my forehead. No amount of exfoliating will remove it, or so it seems.

June 18, 2007

Hanging on By The Tips of My Fingers

This weekend (and past week) has been less than stellar. I'm having one of those days. I spoke to a close friend last night and listened to the details regarding his unraveling. I wont relay them here, but I started crying (unbeknownst to him) because I felt sad for him, it hit me right in my gut because I feel like I'm not too far behind him. It's as if the world is closing in on me and that I have the worst luck in the world... I'm trying desperately to get my karmic energy right... to make the stars align for me, because I can't afford to lose it. I'm even more suspicious than ever, at this dark place I get up and come to everyday. I'm a little more skittish than usual, testy... everyone is a suspect. I feel uneasy at home, in my apartment. It's as if I'm a pawn in the midst of a twisted game of Clue. 'Been reading my cards non-stop and meditating this past weekend... ... but I still feel unnerved... like something unsettling is on the horizon... unsettling, but something that I'll recover from once the initial shock of it all wears off. I'm merely bracing myself for the onslaught... and my stomach is in knots. I wish I could just pack my bags and get out of dodge... get out of this country... and escape everything... start fresh... If only it were that easy...

January 07, 2007

Sweet Dreams Are Made of This...

A few weeks ago, I was in the throes of a nasty sinus cold. It was kicking my ass, no matter how much I tried to bob and weave to avoid it- (I felt it percolating days prior and loaded up on Airborne and Aleve Sinus medicine, to no avail) - Having turned into a full fledged (and fire breathing) monster, I found myself taking days here and there, off of work, and even had to leave early on a Thursday, a few days before the New Years holiday. Wednesday evening however, prior to that, I stopped off at the drug store after work, in search of something stronger and more potent. Having found my weapon, I took it immediately upon getting home. Instantly, I felt drowsy, so I dressed for bed and turned in for the evening. Due to this strong sinus medication I had been in and out of consciousness from the time I got home from work until the late-late evening. I woke up for good, at around 6:41AM after an interesting dream. Needless to say, I haven't been able to get it out of my mind. Even now. It involved the following scenario...
My immediate family and I are walking through a dangerous construction area, in New Jersey, carrying heavy, unhinged doors under our arms. The construction crew consisted of a stupid lot. Not very bright at all. Most of them actually ignored us, as we trekked through their site. Suddenly my mother drops her door down a large hole they'd dug, and one of the construction workers dropped his shovel and dove down, to retrieve it. At this point, I started to feel a little uneasy and opined that we should have rented a car... My 14 year old niece steps to the right and falls through a small mound of dirt... which had been covering a massive hole, apparently. I yell HELP towards a large group of construction workers. I ask the one standing the closest to the incident if she's going to be all right?? He merely shrugged. I yell for him to go check then! Almost aloof, he scrambles down the hole. At his point, my panic barometer sky rockets and my heart is beating fast. I began to cry, eyes squeezed tightly closed, my hand clasped over my mouth. My older sister, her mother, tells me to calm down. I say, "What if she's hurt... or worse???" My sister is still unshaken. I tell my mother to forget about the stupid door she had dropped moments prior. I yell once more that we should've rented a car! Suddenly, the construction worker emerges from the hole, holding my niece's hand... pulling her up and out of the hole. She was dirty, scraped up, and a little shaken, but alive. I wake up with a start, my heart beating at a rapid pace. I sit up and turn on my bedside lamp.

September 28, 2004

A short one...

Well, it's raining again today, but I suppose it could be worse... We could have been hit by one of the numerous hurricanes and tornadoes wrecking havoc on a lot of these poor, undeserving people in Florida and Haiti. In any event... I had the strangest dream last night. There were a whole bunch of scenarios going on, but the primary one that stayed with me when I awoke this morning was this weird man with big club arms, without any hands. He was terrorizing a whole bunch of people, including myself and clubbing them over the head to death. Some of the dead victims were turning into club armed murderers right before my very eyes. The last thing I remember was walking through the carnage and then tending to a BABY whose arms were clubbed too. I have some weird ass dreams. A lot of them make no sense whatsoever, yet I'm sure a lot of them harbor some symolic message. Anyway, I would like to post some of my literary work on my blog. ciao!