Coffee Rhetoric: Cat-Rilla
Showing posts with label Cat-Rilla. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Cat-Rilla. Show all posts

April 20, 2009

Update- Tales from the Darkside and Home Improvement

Conversations that transpired while walking around my neighborhood this past Friday:

Encounter 1: Lady buffalo stancing outside Family Dollar and Carlos's Supermarket: " 'Scuse me MISS. You got a dolla'??" Me: "Nope." Lady: "How about fifty cent? You got ANY change?????" Me: I shook my head emphatically and hurried inside towards my destination for Folgers and flip flops.

Encounter 2: While walking from Green Apple produce market

Man: (standing next to disheveled Black woman: "Scuse me Miss... you think you can give me and my friend here some money...." Me: Shook head emphatically and hurried inside.

**I come back outside from store**

Woman (beggar's friend), in a slow, drug induced drawl: "Scuse me... MISS. Can I have some..." Me: Shaking head so hard my neck pops, as I hurry down the street towards home... Woman (yelling after me): "Well, you got a CONDOM den??"
Encounter 3: The best friend (Cat to those not in the know) visits. After settling in, we head back out at around 10pm... Cat, being the genius that she is... parks TWO WHOLE BLOCKS away! We stand and wait outside, in the mild night air, waiting to cross the street...
Condom Lady approaches... head lolled to the side as she lumbers over, like a corpse out of Night of the Living Dead: "Scuuuuse Me. Ladies... Ya'll got aaaany money I can..." Cat and I in unison: "NO!" We run out into busy traffic, desperate to get away from Condom lady. Bitch is lumbering towards us at a clip now!
We make it. I verbally abuse Cat for parking so far away!! And Onward Life has been somewhat busy. I'm still... still... settling into my apartment. It is starting to feel a lot like home, however. With several free acquisitions, a few priced next to nothing accents, switching things around and figuring out (through trial and error) what works in this particular space, things are starting to come together. I now have a king sized bed and board (sans frame, but not dire) today. I'm excited. The bed is huge. Bedding will be costly, but I plan on NOT paying more than 30 dollars for king sized bedding.

Check out what's going on thus far

Oh and I also acquired this amdist the madness.

October 17, 2007

Le John

Dear Cat,
I know you've been back home from your two week, work related jaunt to India for a minute, but I just want to welcome you back again. I enjoyed hearing about your sweet and sour experiences in Sri Lanka and various other places around India. While I found some of your calamities amusing and in essence poked you with a stick (so to speak), exacerbating your dismay, I begin to mull over your troubling encounters with India's toilets. When you said that many of them left much to be desired and others reeked of centuries old piss, your description of there being no toilet paper, but a hose and some "measuring cup" looking thing in its place, I must admit-- many unsavory visuals flashed and danced around in my sick head! I mean, I'm glad you didn't touch the hose. The thought of someone's pissy, dookey hands fidgeting with a hose & cup 'round their delicates and naughty bits, thereby tainting the hose, leads me to believe that said tools are ridden with all sorts of bacteria and germs. You had no clue what the cup was supposed to be used for and so you were smart and opted to pat down your delicates with the pack of kleenex you keep in your purse. Cheers and way to go with that! Smart. But I was still left to ponder how a traditional Indian toilet works, and so I took it upon myself to do some online research... and found this blog, with a picture of this diagram==> I'm guessing the idea is to use the hose to rinse down the ass and delicates after business is accomplished, and to use the measuring cup thing to douse one's business with water. I assume this makes the bits cleaner rather than using simple toilet tissue. Terrence Howard would definitely approve! Anyway, what is familiar to many cultures, makes those of us from the West bumble along and stew in a pot of ignoramus soup... I think I'll stick to tissue and Summer's Eve feminine wipes. Ignorance is indeed bliss during these circumstances. Enjoy!
Bisous Coffey