Dubiousness 101: A quick study

Shady: Of dubious character or honesty; questionable. Phoney:
    1. Not genuine or real; counterfeit: a phony credit card.
    2. False; spurious: a phony name.
  1. Not honest or truthful; deceptive: a phony excuse.
    1. Insincere or hypocritical.
    2. Giving a false impression of truth or authenticity; specious.
n. pl. pho·nies, also pho·neys
  1. Something not genuine; a fake.
    1. One who is insincere or pretentious.
    2. An impostor; a hypocrite.
Two-Faced: Having two faces or surfaces.
  1. Hypocritical or double-dealing; deceitful.
Wishy-washy:
  1. Lacking in strength of character or purpose; ineffective.
Perhaps this tropical heat is causing me to feel delirious, with a figurative type of fever, but I was just pondering over the very meanings of these words, for our culture is full of dubious characters. Now more than ever before. These are the descriptions that prompt me to "eradicate" a person, in my mind anyway... which would be the equivalent of a fed up television series's writer killing off a major character, when the actor in question doesn't measure up. Leeriness is exhausting, but it's very necessary. Sometimes, when I'm walking down the street, people's faces seem distorted to me... like the molten images from the Sound Garden video, Black Hole Sun. Sharp fangs exposed, oversized, black pupils searching for ways to infiltrate a person's soul, so as to expose and then suckle the life out of any exposed or unprotected vulnerabilities. Small but crucial weaknesses. Perhaps this is why I fancy wearing dark, oversized shades, for they're teeming... everywhere... they hold political offices, they run the government, they sign your checks, sitting across from you on the subway- smiling in your direction, teaching your children, sitting across from you scribbling notes during a counseling session, employing you, serving you your meal or drink... They're everywhere. Emotional vampires, who suck the life out of any and everybody. Hypnotizing you with a smile and their quick- but charming- wit, before they swoop in for the kill. This entry makes me recall a part of Chris Rock's routine, where he says that when you become acquainted with a person for the first time, you aren't actually meeting them in their true nature... you're actually being introduced to their representative.

4 comments

Unknown said...

This entry makes me recall a part of Chris Rock's routine, where he says that when you become acquainted with a person for the first time, you aren't actually meeting them in their true nature... you're actually being introduced to their representative.


that's TOTALLY TRUE - I even see it in myself - I'm never the same person I WAS when I first meet you, as I am when i become comfortable with you & can just be me, warts & all
WITH ME however, there is no EVIL SOUL SUCKER lurking underneath my "representative" LOL, just jus someone who has far more going on in her head than the initial "meet & greet" lets on ;)

Beautifully written, BTW - as usual, I totally loved reading this

Anonymous said...

for a long time, when I first met people, I was completely myself. to the point of intensity. I had to learn, sadly and painfully, that people don't really deal with that very well. I just feel very passionate about things and I am an aggressive personality and tend to show that right off.

I love the black hole sun comparison. I see what you're saying. but you do sound overly leery of people sometimes (and you have admitted to being that way before).

TiffJ said...

I am overly leery, I've admitted that yes. Not for nothing, however. Being distrustful is exhausting, but then having someone abuse any inkling of trust, goodwill, or friendliness I happen to offer, is equally as tiring.
I like to consider mine, a genuine personality. Everyone's different, I suppose expecting the same is rather idealistic.

Either way, I'm trying to reconcile coping with this particular defense mechanism (involving trust) I shield myself with, while trying to understand why it's so seemingly difficult for people to be genuine. Not nice, or sweet, or overly saccharine (I'm not), but GENUINE.

chrome said...

it's funny you post this. I put my guardup when on the outside and have been called snooby, aloof. always wondered if i'm reppin' myself right. perhaps a protection from the vampires who will take the little you have at the first opportunity for manipulation.